The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
"In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend — the city-run public schools — comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools — even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author suggests that students in Parson city receives better education because of the more money from the investment of government. However ,the readers need further proof to verify the argument offered by the author.
The author suggests that the majority of money comes from the government. Still, the exact amount of money is needed to be provided here. If the governments of Trillura has used to not giving support to the local school, even, that the proportion of money spent on the school in Parson city is slightly higher than other regions can be considered by author “the majority”. Hence, the main source of the money may come from the business or company.
The author also claims that the money spent on education in Parson city is twice as much as that of in Blue city recently. Nevertheless, it is hard to really indicate that Parson city is more focused on the education of teenagers. It is likely that in previous years there are more money and resources is given to the school in Blue city. Hence ,it is not necessary for the government to support the development of education. For example, if the air conditioner in the class , the blackboard and screen were already replaced with the whole new ones and because this kinds of equipment are not easily broken or damaged in short period , there is no need for government to spend money to renew them. Hence, though the money is not needed, the government in Blue city is still willing to support the local, which may mean that government in Blue city place a higher value on providing a good education. Hence, what we need is a long term statistics for the expense on education.
The author also thinks the more money means well education is received. However, what he neglect is that money doesn’t mean everything. The problem of the school may lie on the unprofessional teacher. Even if you give more money to improve the school environment, the students cannot receive the good education. Hence, to improve the education lies on the comprehensive understanding of what school neglect rather just provide the money.
To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide more information as above mentioned.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1766 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.709 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.507 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.336 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...om the investment of government. However ,the readers need further proof to verify...
^^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... given to the school in Blue city. Hence ,it is not necessary for the government t...
^^
Line 5, column 475, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ple, if the air conditioner in the class , the blackboard and screen were already ...
^^
Line 5, column 562, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ced with the whole new ones and because this kinds of equipment are not easily broke...
^^^^
Line 5, column 634, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...easily broken or damaged in short period , there is no need for government to spen...
^^
Line 6, column 89, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'neglects'.
Suggestion: neglects
...education is received. However, what he neglect is that money doesn’t mean everything. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, however, if, may, nevertheless, really, so, still, then, well, for example, in short
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1826.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88235294118 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63250049386 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.48128342246 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.219424465 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1052631579 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6842105263 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.10526315789 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296224151703 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0946191575944 0.0743258471296 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.088145812775 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156725773084 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106148282241 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.