By comparing two real estate agencies homeowner fails to consider some crucial facts about the house market, differences of the characteristics between those agencies, as well as additional factors. In addition to this, he uses a comparison between the sales of two his houses made almost ten years apart without taking into account how much might have changes in those years.
As a primary evidence homeowner uses some statistical data which indicates that Adams Realty is far superior than Fitch Realty. As a first metric he uses the number of employees: Adams has almost twice as much as Fitch Realty, and the latter one has many part-time ones. The homeowner doesn’t mention how many part-time employees Adams Realty has; maybe in percentages number of part-time employees there is higher than at Fitch’s.
Homeowner mentions that the revenue at Adams Realty is twice as much at Fitch Realty, in addition to the average of home sales being higher as well. He fails to consider some other factors that may influence the revenue. The expenses at Fitch Realty can be higher than at Adam’s which might account for a bigger difference in the possible revenue. Other point the homeowner missed is the comparison of the number of sales between two agencies. Fitch may be covering more markets and making more sales with differences in the house prices than Adam’s Realty. Adams Realty can be concentrating on a more high-end market, assisting in sales of much more expensive housing than Fitch Realty. This would account for a higher sale average and a higher revenue.
As a last argument homeowner brings upfront the sales of his two houses. One was made ten years ago with the support of Fitch, which took months to accomplish. The recent sale made by the help of Adams Realty agency took only one month to close last year. This analogy is completely unfounded, as ten years ago and one year ago from now can’t be comparable timelines. It is clear for me that the market couldn’t have stayed the same in the span of ten years, the situation has clearly changed. The market ten years ago could have been more stale, on a downslope. It is not evident that if the homeowner had tried to sell the house using services of Adams Realty, it would have been done faster than in months. In a commensurate way homeowner can’t insist that selling his latest house with Fitch Realty Agency would have taken longer.
Homeowner needs to provide sufficient data that the differences in the revenue and overall success of two agencies don’t depend on the discrete markets they cover, the professionalism of the employees, types of houses they sell. Before comparing the period it took both houses to sell he should have covered how the market of ten years ago has changed to one of one year ago. Only when provided with supporting evidence that sales were solely reliable on the professionalism of the agency can the comparison and the final conclusion of superiority of Adams Realty agency be substantiated.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2439 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.754 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.487 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.899 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.304 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...much might have changes in those years. As a primary evidence homeowner uses some ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 110, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...cates that Adams Realty is far superior than Fitch Realty. As a first metric he uses...
^^^^
Line 3, column 141, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
... the average of home sales being higher as well. He fails to consider some other f...
^^
Line 3, column 766, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...gher sale average and a higher revenue. As a last argument homeowner brings upfron...
^^^^
Line 4, column 721, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "In a commensurate way" with adverb for "commensurate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...d have been done faster than in months. In a commensurate way homeowner can't insist that sellin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 235, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e employees, types of houses they sell. Before comparing the period it took both house...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, so, well, in addition, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2528.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9568627451 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65831737909 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43137254902 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 796.5 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8471885558 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.913043478 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1739130435 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.13043478261 5.70786347227 37% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254129349478 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0850282987867 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0652331406397 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149247610295 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0675616842439 0.0628817314937 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.