Even though the conclusion drawn at the end which says that Butler’s safety records will improve by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested sounds logical, there are some questions which need to answered before making sure that the reduction in the work shifts will give the intended result.
The motivation behind reducing the working hours is the comparison between Butler Manufacturing and Panoply Industries where Butler Manufacturing is behind Panoply Industries in terms of percentage of accidents reported. Even though Butler Manufacturing has 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than Panoply Industries, it does not necessarily mean that workers of Butler Manufacturing are sleep deprived. The question we need to ask here is what type of work is being done at these two companies. Maybe Panoply Industries is an IT industry where all most all the workers sit infront of their computers all day. Hence it is highly likely that theie workers would suffer from any accident. On the other hand, as the name suggests, Butler Manufacturing is involved in some kind of manufacturing process where probably the workers are engaged with machines having moving parts etc. making them more vulnerable to accidents. Hence to make sure that apples are not being compared with oranges, it is necessary to find out what kind of job workers of Panoply Industries do. If it happens that workers at Butler Manufacturing are engaged in the job which is relatively more prone to accidents, a reduction in the working hours might not be helpful.
Also, questions should be asked regarding the accident reporting process of the workers. Maybe Panoply Industries have a higher percentage of accidents but it tends to avoid them from being reported. This might be an indicator that the workers are already getting enough sleep and a decrease in their working hours is not going to help Butler Manufacturing impove their safety records.
Assuming the reports obtained from the workers represent the real situation and both the industries’ workers perfrom the same type of jobs, it is important to determine whether or not the cause of these accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation. Maybe Butler Manufacturing does not provide safety equipments to their workers which leads to most of the on-the-job accidents. Thus, only if the cause behind the accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation can the decrease in work shifts give the predicted results.
Therefore, we still need answers to a few questions before determining whether shortening work shifts by one hour would help Butler to improve its safety record.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- somehow duplicated to argument 1. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2158 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.138 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'an' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: an; IT
... companies. Maybe Panoply Industries is an IT industry where all most all the workers...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 548, Rule ID: ALL_MOST[1]
Message: Did you mean 'almost'?
Suggestion: almost
...oply Industries is an IT industry where all most all the workers sit infront of their co...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 613, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...sit infront of their computers all day. Hence it is highly likely that theie workers ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 922, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...king them more vulnerable to accidents. Hence to make sure that apples are not being ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 175, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...e of jobs, it is important to determine whether or not the cause of these accidents is fatigue...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, regarding, so, still, therefore, thus, kind of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2211.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26428571429 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81302747636 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47619047619 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.1777978204 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.058823529 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7058823529 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.41176470588 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326015072207 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112086962892 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0885873509029 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154868180367 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106381215528 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.