The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of student housing at Buckingham College recommends on his/her memo the construction of new dormitories in the college. This is based on the premise that during the next 50 years the number of students will be doubled, on the assumption that the increased rent for an apartment will make it unaffordable for the students and finally on the assumption that the new dormitories will attract new students. However, on deeper analysis, it is apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the correlation with the estimated number of students after 50 years with the current dormitory space. If the current dormitories are adequate to accommodate the students for the up-coming years there is no need to construct something that it will be used after 50 years. To overcome this flaw, the director should provide specific data which would depict the emergency of the inadequate capacity of the dormitories the next years.
Moreover, the director is incorrectly based on the argument that the increase on the average rent for an apartment in city will discourage students to select an out-campus apartment. Though, it is possible, that the majority of students in this college to come from affluent families which have not any problem to afford this augmented expenses. In order to strengthen his/her argument, the director should cite more information about the financial background of the students.
The director also wrongly concludes that the new dormitories will attract new students. However, the majority of the students when they evaluate their options for their studies focus on the provided curriculum, the prestige of the college, the research and survey work of the professors and the high perspectives for immediate access to a profitable working environment. To render this argument more valid the director should make a reference to a recent study which would demonstrate that the attractive dormitories is a crucial factor for the students when make their final choices.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the suggestion of the director may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1930 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.147 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.814 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.624 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...istaken assumptions and logical flaws. One such flaw is the correlation with th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ity of the dormitories the next years. Moreover, the director is incorrectly ba...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... financial background of the students. The director also wrongly concludes that...
^^^
Line 4, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...provided curriculum, the prestige of the college, the research and survey work of...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tudents when make their final choices. After closer examination of the passage ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, may, moreover, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1969.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27882037534 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90063827309 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482573726542 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.6301101147 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.642857143 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6428571429 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.64285714286 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262687610321 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0937018451178 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103026331554 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131286193051 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0821451465114 0.0628817314937 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.41 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.