The memo from the Student housing director states that Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories to attract prospective students to enroll for the college. The other information that the memo insists is the existing dormitory space might be inadequate with the growing enrollment in the Buckingham College. The author here fails to provide a proper evidence for many of the aspects provided in the memo.
Firstly,the blatant statement that the students will be attracted to the intricate designs of the dormitory seems to be the biggest flaw. For instance there are many age old universities like the Harvard that provide world class education and still people enroll to those universities only for their experienced staffs and faculty. It is clear that not only the ornamented universities attract enrollment but also their reputation with the best faculty plays;amenities provided like laboratories,research centers,playgrounds,auditorium etc.. plays a predominant role in attracting the students towards the college.
Furthermore to add, There is no proper evidence for the Days scholar and the boarding students mentioned. There could be a possibility that a majority of the enrolled students could be a day's scholar who already have their families or close family members around the city. This evidence is surely required on deciding to build the new dormitories which can become a unnecessary expense for the College.
Moreover, the memo states that the rent of the apartment in the area has risen in recent years which is ambiguous.The future of the real estate is always decided on the current development of the city. We are not sure if the location where the Buckingham College. The memo does not state if it is located in the urban or a rural area. The real estate is increasingly flourished in the urban compared to that of a rural.What if the College is located in a rural area? Therefore, there is no point in putting forth the alarmingly increased rate of the apartment in the surrounding area.
Finally the most flawful statement mentioned in the memo is that the college's enrollment grows in the next 50 years. The memo fails to mention on what basis there is going to be an increased enrolment here. What happens if the college failed to cater to the futuristic trend? There can be a possible transition in forthcoming years, like how we were left aberrant about the future a decade ago. This is how the technology and the education can leave our prognostications in real ambiguity.
To summarize, the college must wisely take decisions based on all the considerations stated above. A college's investment in infrastructure and amenities is important but building dormitories must be based on solid evidences and facts.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2269 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.976 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.826 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.356 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 326, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...g enrollment in the Buckingham College. The author here fails to provide a proper e...
^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...aspects provided in the memo. Firstly,the blatant statement that the students wil...
^^^^
Line 3, column 496, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , research
...ays;amenities provided like laboratories,research centers,playgrounds,auditorium etc.. pl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 513, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , playgrounds
...vided like laboratories,research centers,playgrounds,auditorium etc.. plays a predominant ro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 540, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...earch centers,playgrounds,auditorium etc.. plays a predominant role in attracting ...
^^
Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Plays
...ch centers,playgrounds,auditorium etc.. plays a predominant role in attracting the st...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...ng the students towards the college. Furthermore to add, There is no proper evidence for...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 188, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'days'' or 'day's'?
Suggestion: days'; day's
...ity of the enrolled students could be a days scholar who already have their families...
^^^^
Line 5, column 365, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ld the new dormitories which can become a unnecessary expense for the College. ...
^
Line 7, column 115, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...isen in recent years which is ambiguous.The future of the real estate is always dec...
^^^
Line 7, column 412, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...rished in the urban compared to that of a rural.What if the College is located in a rur...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 420, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
...n the urban compared to that of a rural.What if the College is located in a rural ar...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...e apartment in the surrounding area. Finally the most flawful statement mentioned in...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 70, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'colleges'' or 'college's'?
Suggestion: colleges'; college's
...ement mentioned in the memo is that the colleges enrollment grows in the next 50 years. ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 102, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'colleges'' or 'college's'?
Suggestion: colleges'; college's
... all the considerations stated above. A colleges investment in infrastructure and amenit...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2321.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16926503341 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20808263415 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494432071269 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 747.9 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6081511621 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.5 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4090909091 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.40909090909 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.291279278033 0.218282227539 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821690594795 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114743705574 0.0701772020484 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147584144178 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.12372384093 0.0628817314937 197% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.