The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog has some of its largest stores in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author claims that they should start placing their own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly in order to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again. To support the conclusion, he cites various evidences such as the example of Fish Emporium and other three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf city. Although these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So, to make the argument more sound, the author needs to cite the following specific evidences.
First of all, the author has assumed that the quality of Fish Emporium Dogs were same even before as five years back. Perhaps, it is possible that the quality of the Dogs in Fish Emporium were significantly improved five years back than even before five years. One the other hand, it is possible that Fish Emporium had started to train dogs before selling. If this was the case, then the author's conclusion significantly weakens by this evidence.
Secondly, the authors presumes that the the location of the Top Dog Pet Stores in the city are located in a suitable location. Possibly, the sales were declining because the stores were situation in the place where the flow of people are relatively low. Additionally, it is possible that the transportation facilities in the Top Dog Pet Stores in the Gulf City are in a very poor condition. If these were the case, this would significantly weakens the author's argument.
In conclusion, it is possible that the placing of their ads in Exotic Pets Monthly may reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again. However, as it stands now, the author's argument relies on three unfounded assumptions that render it's conclusion unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. Thus, the author needs to provide additional specific evidences above two fronts.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1499 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.537 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.784 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 389, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...selling. If this was the case, then the authors conclusion significantly weakens by thi...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ignificantly weakens by this evidence. Secondly, the authors presumes that the ...
^^^
Line 5, column 37, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... Secondly, the authors presumes that the the location of the Top Dog Pet Stores in t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 37, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... Secondly, the authors presumes that the the location of the Top Dog Pet Stores in t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 441, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'weaken'
Suggestion: weaken
...were the case, this would significantly weakens the authors argument. In conclusion,...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 453, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e, this would significantly weakens the authors argument. In conclusion, it is possi...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 196, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...t again. However, as it stands now, the authors argument relies on three unfounded assu...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1538.0 2260.96107784 68% => OK
No of words: 307.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00977198697 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6008869424 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491856677524 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 483.3 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.7079114042 57.8364921388 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 102.533333333 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4666666667 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.320490115942 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102784886298 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0847383328002 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184039912708 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0589302088046 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.