The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview:
" In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for the plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer a significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based on are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answer to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author suggests a policy to allay the unemployment problem by inviting Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. However, the argument is rife with holes and the author has to answer questions below.
The author claims that building car manufacturing plants could reduce unemployment rate, still, do they really hire local residents as workers? This could be true if the local residents are abundant in automobile experts and they could join the plant to make contribution right away. However, if the car manufacturing business can’t find the experts locally, they would go to recruit from outside or from other states, then it is not going to improve or reduce unemployment rate at all. The writer has to answer the hiring strategy of the company and the specialty of local residents to make the argument more cogent and let us know how much the city will benefit.
Even if the company do hire the local people as major part of its labor composition, followed by another question, how many people is the company going to hire? Maybe the car plant is going to recruit 10,000 labors locally and it will reduce the unemployment rate from 10% to 2%, then conceivably it does reduce the unemployment rate considerably as well as an impetus for boosting local economy. Nevertheless, what if the business just wants 10 people for the whole plant because almost of the manufacturing process has been replaced with automation and robots. They just need few people to supervise the machine flow on the track and that’s not going to ameliorate the unemployment rate at all. Thus, the writer needs answering questions to strength the claim.
Additionally, the another crucial question is why did the computer software company abandon the site last year? Would that be the same reason for the car plant to fail again? This would be the most critical since the car business could have the same problem that the software business faced last year. It couldn’t be an issue if the software company fails just because they couldn’t find the experienced programmers locally, so they desert the place and moved to another city where many programmers live in. Still, the car manufacturing enterprise could encounter the same problem as software one is that Hillview city located in rural area with low populated has not many residents with wanted specialties, because most of them are farmers, Thus, the automobile enterprise is going to fail again conceivably.
In conclusion, the author has to answer questions mentioned above to make the argument more convincing.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2104 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.649 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.88 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.451 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... author has to answer questions below. The author claims that building car manu...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s know how much the city will benefit. Even if the company do hire the local pe...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, nevertheless, really, so, still, then, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2158.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 428.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04205607477 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71795963327 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469626168224 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 667.8 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0665720645 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.941176471 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1764705882 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157754014346 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541286476318 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0799615704911 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0966204590402 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786895725873 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.