The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview:
" In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for the plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer a significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based on are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answer to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
At first glance, the concern of the Mayor of Hillview city regarding the unemployment in his city seems plausilble. But under scrutiny, it an be claimed that the mayor's argument is rife with assumptions and loopholes.
Initially, he argued that to alleviate the unemployment problem, Autotech should be encouraged to build its manufacturing plant in Hillview and the location has been sited to be perfect for the plant. As from the argument we are aware that earlier there was a software programming company and now the same place will be utilised for a manufacturing plant. That sounds a bit doubtful because a manudfactuing plants require was more than facilities than a software company. Their is no mention how the site will be perfect for a automobile manufacturing plant. Autotech will need a good water supply and whatif the Hlllview site fails to provide water supply in good amount. Then the site might not be ideal for Autotech. So I would say the mayor needs to be more specific about how the site is going to be fruitful to an automobile manufacturing plant.
Secondly, it's mentioned if Autotech established it's plant in Hillview, thousands of Hillview people will be employed by Autotech. Well again, it seems doubtful to assert that. Because most of the automobile plants are automatic and most of the work is handled by machines and very few labors are required. So AUtotech will hire so many people, that can't be guaranteed. Further, since earlier a software company was there, and so it can be posited that people belong to a software domain instead of manufacturing or industrail. In such a case, either Autotech might not be willing to hire them or probably people themselves might not prefer to join a company which is different from the work environment they belong to. hence, I would suggest, that first there should be a dialogue with Autotech company regarding how many people wil they be willing to hire, and also how many people in Hillview will be willing to join a manufacturing sector. If the loophole dicussed seems to be true, it would be better to encourage some other company which would hire more people from Hillview city.
Additionally, the mayor has asked City Council to authorize a large campaign and at the same time offer significant tax incentive to attract Autotech in Hillview. Well, to invest so much money in a large campaign and providing tax rebates doesn't seem like a good idea, instead that money could be invested to created various centres which can provide jobs to many Hillview people. Further, there's no mention about the cituation of Hillview city. Whatif the monetory status of the city is not good at present which could have been because of recession or some other problems. In such a case, City council might not be able to inevst so much money. Further, lets suppose, the money is sanctioned for the campaign, what is the guarantee that Autotech will be interested to build its site in Hillview. If Autotech doesn't , then a lot of money would be wasted which otherwise could have been used for the benefit of residents.
With aforementioned reasons, it can be claimed that teh mayor's argument fails to consider many things.
Sentence: At first glance, the concern of the Mayor of Hillview city regarding the unemployment in his city seems plausilble.
Error: plausilble Suggestion: plausible
Sentence: That sounds a bit doubtful because a manudfactuing plants require was more than facilities than a software company.
Error: manudfactuing Suggestion: manufacturing
Sentence: Autotech will need a good water supply and whatif the Hlllview site fails to provide water supply in good amount.
Error: whatif Suggestion: what
Sentence: Further, since earlier a software company was there, and so it can be posited that people belong to a software domain instead of manufacturing or industrail.
Error: industrail Suggestion: industrial
Sentence: In such a case, either Autotech might not be willing to hire them or probably people themselves might not prefer to join a company which is different from the work environment they belong to. hence, I would suggest, that first there should be a dialogue with Autotech company regarding how many people wil they be willing to hire, and also how many people in Hillview will be willing to join a manufacturing sector.
Error: wil Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: If the loophole dicussed seems to be true, it would be better to encourage some other company which would hire more people from Hillview city.
Error: dicussed Suggestion: discussed
Sentence: Further, there's no mention about the cituation of Hillview city.
Error: cituation Suggestion: situation
Sentence: Whatif the monetory status of the city is not good at present which could have been because of recession or some other problems.
Error: monetory Suggestion: monetary
Sentence: In such a case, City council might not be able to inevst so much money.
Error: inevst Suggestion: invest
Sentence: With aforementioned reasons, it can be claimed that teh mayor's argument fails to consider many things.
Error: teh Suggestion: the
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK.
suggested:
The Mayor fails to consider that the town of Hillville may be unsuitable for Autotech to build its plant due to other reasons. For example, perhaps the location of the town is unfavourable for Autotech with respect to the company's overall national network. Perhaps the demand for Autotech's products in Hillville and its neighbouring areas is not enough to justify the high initial costs involved in setting up the automobile manufacturing plant. Perhaps the resources and materials required for setting up a plant can't be acquired easily at Hillville.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 544 350
No. of Characters: 2595 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.829 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.77 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.63 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5