Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current satellite provider. The company is techno corporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of the respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not monopoly.Thus , the new venture of technocorporation into satellite televsion will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.
It may be true that the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitabe for those who invest now. But the authors jounry to arrive at this conclusion is rife with assumptions.
The author has assumed that selection of the corporation is doen on its merits and doesn't have any person gain for the newspaper. It may pe poosible that the newspaper will be getting an indirect benift from the Corportion and that's why supporting the Techcorportion. In such a case the money if invested by individuals may go in vein.
Moreover, author has assumed that the reception quality of this new satellight is better than the old one, it is possible that intially it may give better result but detoriate in long term. Thus investing in the company will not give fruitfull results.
Further,the author has assumed that the survey done last year holds correct for current year also. It may be possible that after the survey results the service provider has imporved that service in such as case consumers will not be willing to change.
Also, the survey result doesn't clearly state how many people responded to the survey, author has assumed that the survey has been responded by all the consumer to whom the survey is send. It may be possible that only few percent of the residents has resonded and out of that 80% were not happy with the service provider,in that case the survey result doesn't give a lucid picture. Moreover it may be possible that the survey is sent to a group of people and not to whole community, in such a case the result of the survey cannot be applied to all.
Monopoly is not good in any industry or service and introduction of new service provider will help consumer to chose which is better but it may be possible that the new service is not matching to the current service and thus wasting time and money of the investers. Author should consider the above mentioned arguments to refine the conclusion so that the consumer can make his/her decision with and confusion.
Sentence: It may be true that the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitabe for those who invest now.
Error: profitabe Suggestion: profitable
Sentence: But the authors jounry to arrive at this conclusion is rife with assumptions.
Error: jounry Suggestion: ?
Sentence: It may pe poosible that the newspaper will be getting an indirect benift from the Corportion and that's why supporting the Techcorportion.
Error: benift Suggestion: benefit
Error: poosible Suggestion: possible
Sentence: Moreover, author has assumed that the reception quality of this new satellight is better than the old one, it is possible that intially it may give better result but detoriate in long term.
Error: satellight Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: intially Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: detoriate Suggestion: decorate
Sentence: Thus investing in the company will not give fruitfull results.
Error: fruitfull Suggestion: fruitful
Sentence: It may be possible that after the survey results the service provider has imporved that service in such as case consumers will not be willing to change.
Error: imporved Suggestion: improved
Sentence: Also, the survey result doesn't clearly state how many people responded to the survey, author has assumed that the survey has been responded by all the consumer to whom the survey is send. It may be possible that only few percent of the residents has resonded and out of that 80 were not happy with the service provider,in that case the survey result doesn't give a lucid picture.
Error: resonded Suggestion: responded
Sentence: Monopoly is not good in any industry or service and introduction of new service provider will help consumer to chose which is better but it may be possible that the new service is not matching to the current service and thus wasting time and money of the investers.
Error: investers Suggestion: No alternate word
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
argument 4 -- not OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1642 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.561 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.468 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.692 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.857 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.923 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.697 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5