Topic: “Technocorporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current satellite provider. The company is technocorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of the respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not monopoly. Thus , the new venture of technocorporation into satellite televsion will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.”
The argument presented is the advice offered to the investors to invest in a new company named as Techcorpration which has developed some satellite technology to compete with the current satellite provider. The letter urged that it will be the top choice of the investment as the survey last year indicated that majority of the people are dissatisfied by the current satellite television provider and would want to switch a new one. The argument stated have several flaws and errors which question its acceptance as proposed. The advice cannot be accepted until the following errors are correted.
Firstly, there is anonymity presented with the advisor of the letter which makes it less credible. The advice is from some government source or a private institution or just a normal person dissatisfied by the current satellite provider? There is no credence as there is no name associated with it and investing a huge amount of money on an unknown source of advice will not prompt investors also. The advisor must be mentioned with the letter with his qualifications which will give him some weight to suggest his advice.
Second, survey by FTA is just mentioning that the new company can compete with the current one but there is no claim that it will be better or reliable than the older one. As the company is new and with less experience it will hardly be trusted by the investors over the older one. The consumer survey does not offer any credence as it is not done by some official or some well known organisation. So it will be a baseless assumption to just consider the new one better then the old one just one a survey and it's same level to the current satellite provider.
Third, the author of the letter suggested that more than eighty percent of the respondents of the survey were dissatisfied by the current satellite provider. But there are various possibilities: they might be discontent with the pricing which is also not assured by the new provider. They might be dissatisfied by the tv contents which may not change even after the new provider. And also there is a strong possibility is that survey may be biased just to defame the old provider and encourage the investors penchant towards the Techcorporation.
The argument less several facts and evidences. It is based much on assumptions and such a flawed advice cannot be followed for huge amount of investment. The advice should be presented well with evidences and facts to bolster the suggestion. The proof of some well known surveys must be substantiated with the argument to make it a more robust one. Until then the advice cannot be considered as flawless.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.778 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.476 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.279 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 434, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...der and would want to switch a new one. The argument stated have several flaws and ...
^^^
Line 1, column 527, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ch question its acceptance as proposed. The advice cannot be accepted until the fol...
^^^
Line 2, column 392, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...rce of advice will not prompt investors also. The advisor must be mentioned with the...
^^^^
Line 3, column 463, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'better than'?
Suggestion: better than
...assumption to just consider the new one better then the old one just one a survey and its s...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 498, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'investors'' or 'investor's'?
Suggestion: investors'; investor's
...fame the old provider and encourage the investors penchant towards the Techcorporation. ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, so, then, third, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2189.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85365853659 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74536210587 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.419068736142 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 707.4 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.379778129 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.238095238 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4761904762 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.09523809524 5.70786347227 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0680506621755 0.218282227539 31% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0230216806488 0.0743258471296 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0357472544827 0.0701772020484 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0433476288342 0.128457276422 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0376151336786 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.