This memo from the new vice president of Sartorian recommends resuming production of their alpaca overcoats, based on the claims that they have a new fabric supplier, that their major competitor is no longer selling such coats, and that it will increase profits. These claims have no substantial evidence to support the recommendation of resuming production of the alpaca overcoats. There are gaps to the claims that need to be answered and will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, why did Sartorian change its fabric supplier? If they were to resume producing alpaca overcoats with this new fabric supplier, will they be able to guarantee that the quality would be the same or even better than their previous supplier. Another question that the vice president should investigate is why did Sartorian have difficulties obtaining reliable supply of high quality wool fabric five years ago.
Next, in the event that Sartorian does resume production of alpaca overcoats, it would be premature to assume that profits would increase because customers will be willing to pay premium prices for it. The vice president should look into carrying out surveys on whether or not consumers want alpaca overcoats to be back in their stores, and if they would be willing to pay higher prices for them. If they data from the surveys show that indeed customers want the purchase alpaca coats and are willing to pay premium prices, then the recommendation of resuming production and selling at high prices would be sound.
Lastly, the vice president failed to show data on the purchasing trend of alpaca overcoats over the last five years. Has consumption of alpaca overcoats increased or decreased over the past five years? If there had been a downward trend, it would not be feasible for Sartorian to resume production as it would probably not sell. Moreover, Sartorian’s major competitor had stopped making alpaca overcoats, there should be an underlying reason for this. It may be due to animal rights activities that shun the production and selling of alpaca overcoats. In such a case, it would be socially irresponsible for Sartorian to resume production and it would also ruin their image where eventually customers might not want to patronise Sartorian anymore.
To sum, it is premature of the vice president to recommend resuming production of alpaca overcoats because there is lack of support to the claims stated in the memo. Further investigation of wool quality from their new supplier, a survey to find out customers’ needs and wants, and understanding the trend of consumption of alpaca coats over the last five years would need to be conducted. Only then will the vice president be able to make a rationale and reasonable recommendation of whether or not to resume production of alpaca overcoats.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2310 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.011 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.711 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.286 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 263, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...hould look into carrying out surveys on whether or not consumers want alpaca overcoats to be b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 486, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ionale and reasonable recommendation of whether or not to resume production of alpaca overcoat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, lastly, look, may, moreover, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2368.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13665943601 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78382661436 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.412147505423 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 725.4 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9580598449 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.555555556 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6111111111 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190495866431 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0807842251945 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0771566219427 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135376359296 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0581545996692 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.