The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo from owner of the chain of cheese stores says that, the inventory should be limited to only domestic cheese varieties as demand for imported cheese is decreasing. Also, it is mentioned in the memo that abating the inventory would help to improve the profits. Author supports his argument by mentioning about a survey conducted by a magazine which indicated that, people are moving towards local cheese types. This argument seems plausible at first glance, however, after scrutinizing carefully, the argument seems seriously flawed, so, it is very difficult to conclude if argument is correct or not without some more evidence.
Firstly, the owner’s decision is based on an assumption which is very vague. It is mentioned in the memo that, at the newly opened store, five best-selling cheeses were domestic. This does not mean that all of the stores of the chain have had same experience, it could be possible that stores in other parts of the country have sold different varieties other than local cheddar, perhaps even imported cheese. Moreover, author does not provide any information about dominant cheese types from previous years other than last year. It would be illogical to base his argument on only one year’s data. So, statistical data about the sale of different cheese types across the country along with yearly demand for various cheese types is needed to confirm that author’s assumption is true. If, the nation wide cheese sales data suggests that even imported cheese sale is good or the local cheese had record sale only in last year then the author’s argument will fail miserably.
Secondly, the magazine which conducted the survey fails to give any sort of numerical data about its subscribers’ preferences. Also, there is no data about, by what percent the preference over imported has increased, if the percentage of increase is inconsequential, the argument becomes even more less substantial. Moreover, all the customers who buy cheese, may be not subscribers of the magazine. It is essential to know about popularity of the magazine at the national level. What if the magazine is circulated in only one state? This means that, the magazine has taken consideration of only one state, and the data provided by the survey in not exhaustive. If the author provides the proof of credibility of the magazine survey the argument becomes strong.
Also, there is no proof that, removing the imported cheese from the inventory will definitely increase the profit of the chain. Customers’ propensity towards local cheese may change over time and they may start to like imported cheese again, in this scenario, discontinuing international cheese may have adverse effects on profits. Moreover, some customers tend to look at the prices before buying the cheese, what if in the future, due to increased demand local cheese becomes costly? Then, without looking further customers will go for imported cheese or they may go to other cheese stores altogether. Moreover, lot of factors contribute to increased profit of any business. The author here makes a flimsy assumption that profits will go high if imported cheese is discontinued and fails to provide convincing evidences that support his argument.
To conclude, because of the aforementioned reasons, the author fails to propose a cogent argument and also fails to make logical deduction about cheese sales. If, some solid evidence was provided to corroborate his extrapolations, the argument would have been more defensible. Thus, the store owner should give second thought about his decision to discontinue imported cheese and his decision should be based on facts and figures rather than untenable assumptions and illogical inferences.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 598 350
No. of Characters: 3042 1500
No. of Different Words: 261 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.945 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.087 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.616 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 230 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 164 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.148 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.802 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.741 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... were domestic. This does not mean that all of the stores of the chain have had same exper...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'experienced'.
Suggestion: experienced
...f the stores of the chain have had same experience, it could be possible that stores in ot...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 792, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...at author’s assumption is true. If, the nation wide cheese sales data suggests that even im...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 294, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'less' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: less
...onsequential, the argument becomes even more less substantial. Moreover, all the customer...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 663, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ovided by the survey in not exhaustive. If the author provides the proof of credib...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, thus, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3142.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 598.0 441.139720559 136% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25418060201 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94510247834 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73429320389 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45652173913 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 1000.8 705.55239521 142% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.0535515692 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.37037037 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1481481481 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.77777777778 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279967499703 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0768755106274 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0812193589126 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159088862867 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.094832200051 0.0628817314937 151% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.