The following appeared in a memo from the president of a company that builds and sells new homes in Steel city.
“Over the past five years, the population of steel city has increased by more than 20 percent, and family incomes in Steel City have risen much faster than the national average. Nationwide, sales of houses priced above $150,000 have increased more than have sales of lower-priced houses. Such data indicate that we should make changes in our business to increase company profits. First, we should build fewer low-priced houses than we did last year and focus instead on building houses designed to sell at above $150,000 dollars. Second, we should hire additional workers so that we can build a larger total number of houses than we did last year.”
The writer makes the conclusion that a company that builds and sells new homes in Steel City needsto make changes in their business to increase company profits. He contends that they build and design houses that are above $150,000 in value, instead of low-priced houses. He also plans on hiring greater number of workers to increase the total number of houses than they built in last year. The arguer provides evidence in support of his claim that these two steps would lead to an increase in the company’s profits. First, he cited the increase in population in Steel City by more than 20 percent along with a much faster rise in the family incomes in this city, that is more than the national average. Second, he assumes that, Nationwide there has been a surge in the sale of high-priced houses than low-priced houses. However, the evidence provided by the arguer stands on questionable asssumptions and is thus rendered indefensible.
The argument made by the arguer is rendered weak due to insufficiency of information. The arguer mentions that there has been an increase in the population of Steel City. He, however, does not mention why and how the population increased. This is to say that, whether the population increased because of immigration or increased birth rates. The arguer forgets to mention that retired people might have come back to their hometown, Steel City. If this is the case, then most of these people would not be interested in buying new houses, as they would already be having their old houses. Even if some rich, retired couple buy new houses, it does not portray the behaviour of the entire city regarding buying of new houses. Moreover, the population increase can be attributed to the influx of young and middle-aged people into Steel City for job purposes. These people mainly have disposable income which they will not invest in buying houses, rather they might rent houses. Furthermore, they will possible not settle in Steel City permanently.
The second argument, concerning the much faster escalation of family incomes greater than the average national income, is also inadequate. The arguer’s assumption that an increased family income would only be used to buy new homes is partial and biased. People in Steel City might be more interested in using their money in other luxuries of life like travelling, expensive cars, education, and so on.
Thirdly, the arguer claims that nationwide the sale of $150,000 and above houses has soared up, which should also indicate that Steel City would also show a similar pattern in buying houses. However, the arguer ignores the fact that what is true for the rest of the nation might not be true for Steel City. The increased sale might have been seen in metropolitan and other big cities. His claims does contain a lot of lacuna and fails to provide reasons.
Finally, hiring of additional workers to build more number of houses is a flawed decision. The company might not be in a situation to invest so much on paying these extra workers. Moreover, in order to accommodate the additional workers, if they cut down the salaries of existing employees, it will adversely affect the workers. This might also bring down workers’ motivation and in turn harm the company. Most importantly, if this entire plan do not succeed the company will suffer tremendous losses from which they might not be able to recover.
As discussed above the arguer’s arguments rests on a number of factors that have not been substantiated with sufficient detail and evidence. The arguer had very narrowly assumed that increase in population in Steel City meant increase in sale of expensive houses. Also, he asserted that their rising family incomes will be spent only on buying new houses. Moreover, he anticipated that nationwide upsurge of sale of those high-end houses also indicated a high sale in Steel City. The overall argument is very narrow as he did not consider alternative possibilities of his claims. If the arguer had portrayed a more holistic picture of the situation and provided evidence that residents of Steel City could have afforded such house high-priced houses, his claims would have been more persuasive. Therefore, the argument fails to convince the reader that building more pricey houses and hiring more workers will prove to be profitable for the company.
The line of reasoning placed by the author stands on questionable grounds. The arguer’s recommendations that his company will incur great profits
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 38 15
No. of Words: 746 350
No. of Characters: 3659 1500
No. of Different Words: 307 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.226 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.498 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 272 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 179 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 17, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The writer makes the conclusion that a company that build...
^^
Line 13, column 361, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ale might have been seen in metropolitan and other big cities. His claims does co...
^^
Line 13, column 409, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun lacuna seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of lacunae', 'a lot of lacunas'.
Suggestion: a lot of lacunae; a lot of lacunas
...her big cities. His claims does contain a lot of lacuna and fails to provide reasons. Fina...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 151, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat his company will incur great profits
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 28.8173652695 201% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 95.0 55.5748502994 171% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3799.0 2260.96107784 168% => OK
No of words: 746.0 441.139720559 169% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09249329759 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.22618413065 4.56307096286 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.651629041 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 313.0 204.123752495 153% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419571045576 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1172.7 705.55239521 166% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 38.0 19.7664670659 192% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.8981501863 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.9736842105 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6315789474 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.23684210526 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303689509208 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0794172451939 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774198903579 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156173413453 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0808704538698 0.0628817314937 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 157.0 98.500998004 159% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.