The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing."During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours.

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.

"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In a memo from the vice president of Alta manufacturing, the author recommend to shorten one hour of work so that he employ will get adequate amount of the sleep:number of accidents are reduced. he gave this assertation based upon the evidence that the another industry-panoply- where employ are required to work one hour shorter than the workers of the alta manufacturing industry, where rate of accidents are 30% lower. Outwardly, this recommendation seems plausible, but upon the close scrutiny, it is seriously flawed due to its reliance on several baseless assumptions. For the better evaluation of the given argument, the author needs to provide answers to these questions.

First of all, is the number of on-job accident more on Alta company than panoply? The author states that the number of accident on Alta manufacturing company are 30% more than panoply company. however, it might be possible that the number of employ in the Alta manufacturing company are significantly higher than the number of employ in the panoply company and the actually number of on-job accidents are lower in Alta manufacturing company than panoply company. For instance, Alta have 400 employ and on job accident case is 13, but panoply company have total employ of 20 and on job accident case is 10. so, the author needs to provide actual number of employ and accident number for both company. if this is true then the author argument is seriously weakened.

Secondly, are two types of company comparable? if the nature of the company is of different then the comparison of one company to another might not be correct. For example, Alta company is of manufacturing car, on the other hands, panoply company is of music. then, it natural that the number of accident in the manufacturing company is more than the music company. if this is true then the author argument is weakened.

Last but not least, are protective measures use by both company same? it might be possible that the protective measures use by panoply company are far more better than the Alta company. Furthermore, machinery use by panoply company are in good condition and employ are provided with safety course, however, it is not adopted in the Alta manufacturing company. if this is true then the author recommendation is seriously compromised.

In conclusion, the author make a recommendation impetuously, which is seriously flawed due to it's reliance upon the several groundless assumptions. Hence, the author needs to provide answer to the above mentioned questions, so that the validity of the given argument can be increased.

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Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 69, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommend shortening'.
Suggestion: recommend shortening
...ident of Alta manufacturing, the author recommend to shorten one hour of work so that he employ will...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
... sleep:number of accidents are reduced. he gave this assertation based upon the ev...
^^
Line 1, column 484, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...mendation seems plausible, but upon the close scrutiny, it is seriously flawed due to its reli...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...pany are 30% more than panoply company. however, it might be possible that the number o...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 492, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'employ' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'employs'.
Suggestion: employs
...ly company. For instance, Alta have 400 employ and on job accident case is 13, but pa...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 523, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...have 400 employ and on job accident case is 13, but panoply company have total em...
^^
Line 5, column 608, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...y of 20 and on job accident case is 10. so, the author needs to provide actual num...
^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...y and accident number for both company. if this is true then the author argument i...
^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y and accident number for both company. if this is true then the author argument i...
^^
Line 9, column 48, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...y, are two types of company comparable? if the nature of the company is of differe...
^^
Line 9, column 48, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y, are two types of company comparable? if the nature of the company is of differe...
^^
Line 9, column 93, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...e nature of the company is of different then the comparison of one company to anothe...
^^^^
Line 9, column 261, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...her hands, panoply company is of music. then, it natural that the number of accident...
^^^^
Line 9, column 367, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...company is more than the music company. if this is true then the author argument i...
^^
Line 9, column 367, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...company is more than the music company. if this is true then the author argument i...
^^
Line 13, column 71, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...tive measures use by both company same? it might be possible that the protective m...
^^
Line 13, column 152, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'better' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: better
...measures use by panoply company are far more better than the Alta company. Furthermore, mac...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 361, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...pted in the Alta manufacturing company. if this is true then the author recommenda...
^^
Line 13, column 361, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...pted in the Alta manufacturing company. if this is true then the author recommenda...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 427.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10304449649 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92172001564 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.374707259953 0.468620217663 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 717.3 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.9149013276 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.761904762 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3333333333 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.42857142857 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257681588426 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0908817287747 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101615969162 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142026715114 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0938838247172 0.0628817314937 149% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2107 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.923 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.717 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.454 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.719 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5