The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than
nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts
believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep
deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta
and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour
so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
The Vice President of Alta Manufacturing states that on-the-job accidents at its plant were 30 per cent more than the Panoply Industries last year.
The president recommends that the plant should reduce each work shift by one hour so that employees can get adequate amount of sleep.
To support his argument president mentions that job accidents are due to fatigue and sleep deprivation among the workers as believed by the experts. I think that the assumptions made by the speaker
have inherent flaws which render it unconvincing.
First of all, there's no statistical data provided that proves the significant role of workers' insomaniac and tired state in the job accidents. It's a mere belief which the experts hold.
There could be myriad of reasons for accidents. For example, workers could be more careless in handling risky tasks or the safety measures are not strictly followed at Alta industry. Moreover there's no
data to support the credibility of more accidents in Alta than Panoply. It could be that accidents in Panoply plant are not reported which would make the assumption irrelevant.
Even if data is correct that Alta actually witnesses more accidents, it's difficult to believe that only one hour difference between the shifts of two plants causes significantly more fatigue among workers of Alta.
In addition there could be more number of workers working in Alta which would increase the proportion of accidents at Alta greater as compared to Panoply even when the number of accidents per worker is approximately same for both industries.
Moreover there's no guarantee that reducing the shifts by one hour will increase the amount of time for which the workers sleep. They might use this additional hour for a plethora of other activities. For example,
some workers who otherwise do not get time to workout because of hectic schedule might use this extra hour to engage in some physical activity rather than sleep. Some others might spend it with their families. In such cases
reducing the shift hours would hardly have any impact to mitigate the fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers.
If the author would have given the above mentioned counter arguments and rejected them with sound reasoning the argument to reduce shift hour would have been convincing. But without support for his assumptions the author's
arguemnt is unconvincing at it stands. To conclude that decreasing time of shift would actually reduce the number of accidents author needs to prove that workers will spend that hour sleeping and it would significantly decrease
fatigue among workers and that fatigue and tiredness are actually the main reasons for majority of accidents at Alta Manufacturing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2228 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.087 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.582 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.216 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.725 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.064 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 15 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y Industries last year. The president recommends that the plant should reduce ...
^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that the assumptions made by the speaker have inherent flaws which render it unco...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Have
... the assumptions made by the speaker have inherent flaws which render it unconvin...
^^^^
Line 11, column 15, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...der it unconvincing. First of all, theres no statistical data provided that prove...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 144, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...c and tired state in the job accidents. Its a mere belief which the experts hold. ...
^^^
Line 13, column 184, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...not strictly followed at Alta industry. Moreover theres no data to support the credib...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 193, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...tly followed at Alta industry. Moreover theres no data to support the credibility o...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 202, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wed at Alta industry. Moreover theres no data to support the credibility of more ...
^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Data
...at Alta industry. Moreover theres no data to support the credibility of more acci...
^^^^
Line 21, column 4, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...ore fatigue among workers of Alta. In addition there could be more number of workers w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 132, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...proportion of accidents at Alta greater as compared to Panoply even when the numbe...
^^
Line 21, column 230, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er worker is approximately same for both industries. Moreover theres no guar...
^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...imately same for both industries. Moreover theres no guarantee that reducing the s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 10, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...ame for both industries. Moreover theres no guarantee that reducing the shifts b...
^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Reducing
...it with their families. In such cases reducing the shift hours would hardly have any i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 15, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had given'?
Suggestion: had given
...ation among workers. If the author would have given the above mentioned counter arguments a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 35, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Arguemnt
...pport for his assumptions the authors arguemnt is unconvincing at it stands. To conclu...
^^^^^^^^
Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Fatigue
...g and it would significantly decrease fatigue among workers and that fatigue and tire...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, if, moreover, so, for example, i think, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2300.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 438.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25114155251 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63920225539 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481735159817 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.0529641403 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 15.0 5.15768463074 291% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232353481433 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0728995797769 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0728920826798 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0913364522881 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0727642622439 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.