The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing.
"During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. If we shorten each of our work shifts by one hour, we can improve Butler Manufacturing's safety record by ensuring that our employees are adequately rested."
The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing.
"During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. If we shorten each of our work shifts by one hour, we can improve Butler Manufacturing's safety record by ensuring that our employees are adequately rested."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the argument, the president of Butler Manufacturing concludes that shortening work shifts by one hour will reduce on-the-job accidents. The author comes to this conclusion based on a recent government study and a comparison with nearby Panoply Industry. As it stands, the author’s contention might be valid, however, if the president wishes to bolster the credibility of the statement, he must provide three pieces of crucial evidence.
Firstly, the author assumes that 30 percent is similar for Butler Manufacturing and Panoply Industry. But this might not be the case, Perhaps, the number of workers in Butler Manufacturing is very high. 30 percent of, let’s say 5000 workers is quite a high number. Panoply Industries might not have as many workers and 30 percent of their total workers might be very less. Moreover, maybe the floor manager in Panoply Industry takes more safety precautions than the floor manager in Butler Manufacturing. If either of these scenarios prove true, then the author’s contention of reducing work shifts by 1 hour does not hold water.
Secondly, the president of Butler Manufacturing presumes that when the workers are let go 1 hour early, they use this time to take adequate rest. But this might be wrong, it might be that the workers spend this time watching movies and playing video games. Furthermore, the workers might use this early leave to spend quality time with their families. If either of these scenarios prove true, then the persuasiveness of the authors argument is drastically hindered.
Finally, the author assumes that Panoply Industry and Butler Manufacturing are identical. But, it might be that Panoply Industry pays a lot more attention to safety of the workers than in Butler Manufacturing. In addition to that, Panoply Industry might have a more relaxed time constraint whereas in Butler Manufacturing due to limited time the workers are forced to take more risks. If these situations are the case, then the authors contention that Butler Manufacuring should shorten the work hours is not persuasive.
In conclusion, if the president of Butler Manufacturing wished to enhance the validity of the argument, he must provide three pieces of crucial evidence.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r employees are adequately rested.' Write a response in which you discuss wh...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 440, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ovide three pieces of crucial evidence. Firstly, the author assumes that 30 perc...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 425, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ve true, then the persuasiveness of the authors argument is drastically hindered. F...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 429, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...these situations are the case, then the authors contention that Butler Manufacuring sho...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, whereas, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35729386892 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91709559265 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452431289641 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 779.4 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.0215942437 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.181818182 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.484058327898 0.218282227539 222% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15049161199 0.0743258471296 202% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132790302231 0.0701772020484 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220518523311 0.128457276422 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.143076533199 0.0628817314937 228% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r employees are adequately rested.' Write a response in which you discuss wh...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 440, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ovide three pieces of crucial evidence. Firstly, the author assumes that 30 perc...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 425, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ve true, then the persuasiveness of the authors argument is drastically hindered. F...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 429, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...these situations are the case, then the authors contention that Butler Manufacuring sho...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, whereas, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2534.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 473.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35729386892 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91709559265 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452431289641 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 779.4 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.0215942437 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.181818182 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.484058327898 0.218282227539 222% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15049161199 0.0743258471296 202% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132790302231 0.0701772020484 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220518523311 0.128457276422 172% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.143076533199 0.0628817314937 228% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.