The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a large, highly diversified
company.
"Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional
headquarters for two different regions. The buildings were erected by two different
construction companies — Alpha and Zeta. Even though the two buildings had identical
floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build, and its expenses
for maintenance last year were twice those of the building constructed by Alpha.
Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been higher than that of the
Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data, plus the fact that Alpha has a
stable workforce with little employee turnover, indicate that we should use Alpha rather
than Zeta for our contemplated new building project."
The vice president of a large, highly diversified company argued in a memo that their new building
project should be given to Alpha instead of Zeta. To support his argument, he presented some facts
about their other two projects completed by Alpha and Zeta. He stated that using Alpha would minimize construction cost and maintenance cost. Alpha would be able to construct energy efficient building and presented the fact that Alpha has a stable workforce. I am not convinced with the idea of giving the project to Alpha based on these facts only.
Firstly, Alpha and Zeta constructed two office buildings in two seperate regions. It may happen that
construction material cost, labour cost, transportation cost is much more higher in the region where
Zeta completed the project. In fact, it is also possible that if Zeta was allocated Alpha's project, Zeta
could complete it at much lower cost at that site.
Secondly, even if material cost and labour cost is similar, identical floor plans lead to different building cost based on quality of materials and quality of construction project. It is possible that Zeta's building is projected to last for much more higher period than Alpha's.
Secondly, last years maintenace cost can's summarize the fact that total maintenance cost is higher in case of Zeta's. It may have gone through some catastrophic event like riots or natural phenomenons lastyear which led to it's higher maintenance cost last year. Moreover, there is no evidence that may ensure that workload distribution was similar in this period. Zeta's site might be facing more work pressure and visitor recently than Alpha's or throughout the entire period of time which consequently led to higher maintenance cost.
Thirdly, vice president argues that Zeta's site consume much energy. Energy consumption is not
dependent only on floor plans. Other factors like what's happeninng there and how much of it's in usemay have effect on energy consumption. 50% of Alpha's site may remain unused due to company's poor business condition there and Zeta's site may be being fully utilized and some high tech projects are being done there and leading to higher energy consumption.
Another fact described as supporting data is Alpha's stable workforce. But, no evidence is presented
that Zeta's workforce is unstable. Even if Alpha's workforce is much more stable than Zeta's, there is no guarantee that this phenomena will continue in future. Zeta may have taken several measures to
improve it's workforce stability. It is also possible that Zeta's workforce is much more efficient than
Alpha's.
Finally, vice president's(VP) memo lacks strong evidence. To support VP's argument I would require
proposal from both company on new site's project to evaluate their cost efficiency on new site. I would also need the usage percentage of Zeta and Alpha's previous built buildings to make sure whether Alpha's site is actually energy efficient. To ensure the fact that maintenace cost was higher in Zeta's, I would all cost details of last 10 years, not only the data of last year, along with assurance that no irregular or catastrophic event happened in Zeta's site. VP should present the fact that Alpha has much efficient workforce and will continue to have stable workforce than Zeta's. If all these informations are provided, it will be possible to take effective decision on the allocation of project. Otherwise, VP's presented facts are ill conceived and supposed to be under extensive scurtiny.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 38 15
No. of Words: 569 350
No. of Characters: 2874 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.884 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.051 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.553 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 210 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 113 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.974 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.587 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.667 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 17 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Project
...ued in a memo that their new building project should be given to Alpha instead of Zet...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: About
...his argument, he presented some facts about their other two projects completed by A...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 70, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'higher' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: higher
...abour cost, transportation cost is much more higher in the region where Zeta completed th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Could
...ta was allocated Alphas project, Zeta could complete it at much lower cost at that ...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 247, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'higher' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: higher
... building is projected to last for much more higher period than Alphas. Secondly, last ye...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 468, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ly than Alphas or throughout the entire period of time which consequently led to higher mainte...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Dependent
...uch energy. Energy consumption is not dependent only on floor plans. Other factors like...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 51, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...only on floor plans. Other factors like whats happeninng there and how much of its in...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...kforce. But, no evidence is presented that Zetas workforce is unstable. Even if Al...
^^^^
Line 25, column 119, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... than Zetas, there is no guarantee that this phenomena will continue in future. Zeta...
^^^^
Line 25, column 148, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...antee that this phenomena will continue in future. Zeta may have taken several measures t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Improve
...ta may have taken several measures to improve its workforce stability. It is also pos...
^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Proposal
... support VPs argument I would require proposal from both company on new sites project ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2944.0 2260.96107784 130% => OK
No of words: 568.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18309859155 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61175527604 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452464788732 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 918.0 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.5579865856 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.1333333333 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9333333333 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13333333333 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 16.0 5.15768463074 310% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.114836375069 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0398660889438 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0722560172924 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0616010058955 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0964621378129 0.0628817314937 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 98.500998004 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.