The following appeared in a memorandum from the CEO of a consumer electronics manufacturing firm to the head of the company's human resources department, who is responsible for hiring new employees:
“Eight years ago, our firm’s profits were increasing with each new employee we added. We discovered that each employee had the skills and motivation to generate more revenue for the firm than his or her salary cost us. However, for the past two years, our profit margin has been falling, even though we have continued to add employees. Thus, our newer employees are not generating enough revenue to justify their salaries. We must not be hiring new employees with the same level of skills and motivation as those we used to attract. Clearly, then, failures in the human resources department account for our falling profits.”
The author of the argument claims that company profit is going down as employee hired by human resources department are not capable enough to generate profit. To support his claim, author cites the reason that eight years ago firm was making profit with the addition of new skilled work force in the organization. The author also suggests that human resources department should not hire new employee with same level of skills as the firm has earlier. Because of weak assumption, lack of evidence and vague language of the argument, the claim made by the author is deeply flawed.
Firstly, the author consider the loss of profit is due to the new employee, who are not skilled enough to generate more revenue. This author fails to identify the other reason apart from new skilled employee. There might be other reasons, which are mainly responsible for the decrease of profit. The operating cost may have increased, competition in the may have increased with the introduction of new competitor or the customer base might have remain the same with increase of running cost. Had the author provided data that revenue loss is due to new less skill employee, the argument could have been strengthened.
Secondly, author claims that new employees are not skilled enough to generate revenue, which is deeply flawed. There is a possibility that the office environment is suitable for employee the exercise this skills to tackle issues faced by the firm. For instance, the company might have develop hire and fire culture if monthly targets are not meet. The fear of losing job prevent employee to express this skills or block their mind set. The author must provide evidence that the office environment is friendly and supportive, but due to the lack of skills of employees make the company unprofitable.
Lastly, the author directly blames human resources department that they are not able to hire skilled manpower, which eventually cost the company in terms of revenue loss. This assumption is unwise because the market scenario might have changed after hiring new employee such as new competitor have come into the market or government might have impose new taxes on the companies that directly linked to revenue. Without any evidence that there is no change in the market place, it is unwise to blame human resources department solely.
Because of the various flaws mentioned above, the argument is unconvincing. However, had the author mentioned that there is no change in market in last 8 years and skill level of new employee are the only reason of profit loss, the argument would have been strengthened.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2130 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.919 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.406 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.201 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 96, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...s going down as employee hired by human resources department are not capable enough to ge...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 351, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...on. The author also suggests that human resources department should not hire new employee...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 446, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'remained'.
Suggestion: remained
...petitor or the customer base might have remain the same with increase of running cost....
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 201, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...t is suitable for employee the exercise this skills to tackle issues faced by the fi...
^^^^
Line 9, column 286, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'developed'.
Suggestion: developed
...m. For instance, the company might have develop hire and fire culture if monthly target...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 400, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... losing job prevent employee to express this skills or block their mind set. The aut...
^^^^
Line 11, column 42, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...astly, the author directly blames human resources department that they are not able to hi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 345, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'imposed'.
Suggestion: imposed
...nto the market or government might have impose new taxes on the companies that directl...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 506, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'resources'' or 'resource's'?
Suggestion: resources'; resource's
...rket place, it is unwise to blame human resources department solely. Because of the ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, apart from, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2188.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05311778291 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5026502175 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452655889145 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 676.8 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6087008138 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.157894737 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7894736842 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162340256253 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0614945426814 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0476579056832 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0987066421187 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477389234797 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.