The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"In order to stop the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. By implementing similar changes in our other stores, Movies Galore can increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the memorandum, the owner of Movies Galore concludes that in order to increase profit, operating expenses at Movies Galore’s must be reduced. Moreover, he states that the Marston located at downtown reduced their expenses by reducing the closing time, hence they should also follow the same strategy. However, the conclusion drawn might hold water, it rests on several unwarranted evidences that if not substantiated would dramatically undermine the persuasiveness of the argument. Hence the following evidenced must be provided.
Firstly, the owner states that since the Marston located at downtown had gained profit by reducing their working hours, their profit will also be increased if they follow Marston’s approach. However, we don’t have any information about the location where the stores are situated. There are possibilities that population in downtown to be high which could increase their sales. Also, their closing time can be due to population of people at night. Maybe Marston noted that population at night was less so that they closed their store early? If this is true then we don’t have information about people in the city where Galor is situated. It is possible that they enjoy to rent movies at night which would cause them to open their stores at night.Hence, closing the stores early would reduce their profit.
Secondly, we don’t have information about the present month sales and profit of store at downtown. The owner states that since the last month sales were high, adopting Marston store scheme this month would increases their profits. If the profit were to decline this month for the downtown store then there is a possibility that adapting their scheme now would reduce profit at Galor store. Thus, the owner haven’t gathered any information about the past and future sales of the store in downtown.
Thirdly, there is no information about the type of movies they Galor sell as rentals. Every person have their own favourite genre in movies. During the reduced sales, maybe people didn’t like the movies that were made that time. If that were so, then the reason for decline in profit wouldn’t be due to the operating expenses. Thus, the author disregarded the possibility of movies which could have been flopped and detested by the society which led to the non-rental of movies and reduction of profit.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is flawed and relies on several unwarranted evidenced. If the owner is able to provide the above three pieces of evidences and perhaps provide a systematic study, then there will be a possibility that the profit can be increases by reducing the closing hours of the store at Galor.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2174 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.853 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.446 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.305 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 486, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ine the persuasiveness of the argument. Hence the following evidenced must be provide...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 540, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... so that they closed their store early? If this is true then we don’t have informa...
^^
Line 2, column 745, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...ause them to open their stores at night.Hence, closing the stores early would reduce ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'increase'
Suggestion: increase
...g Marston store scheme this month would increases their profits. If the profit were to de...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2249.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09977324263 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55434301133 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439909297052 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 697.5 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.4529442884 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.227272727 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0454545455 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331660563631 0.218282227539 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103803973966 0.0743258471296 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0992005164817 0.0701772020484 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200020491269 0.128457276422 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662724019729 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.