The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memorandum from the owner of movies Galore, he stated that in order to diminish the loss we should adopt the same policies which have already been adopted by the store in Downtown Marston in all other movies Gallore stores. However, the argument is based on number of assumptions and we need further investigation to evaluate the soundness of the argument.
Firstly, the author says the profits are declining and their is the dire need to reduce the expenses of the stores. so, here question arises is decrease in profit is because of delapidated condition of stores? or is it because of the poor economy of the nation? Recession and unemployment might be one of the reasons of the declining of profits of the stores because if these two are the real reason behind the the loss than there will be no need for extra changes in these stores as it will take time but if the reason is the poor condition of stores than there is a dire need for renovation of stores which will automatically attract the people.
Secondly, he mentions that by reducing the operating hours he will cut loss as it has already seen in downtown Marston and they are following this schedule and getting advantage and he wants to adopt the same policy in another stores at different places. Here he overlooked this point that people of different places have different lifestyles, different job and sleep patterns. Perhaps 6:00 to 9:00 timings in the evening will be suitable for people of other place and they want to spend their leisure time by watching movies. So there is a need for asking people's opinion of different places about their job patterns which will help him in increasing his profits of stores in different areas.
Moreover, he states that store in downtown Marston has cut it overall inventory by removing the stocks of DVDs which are older than 5 years and it has helped them in decreasing their profits. He wants to do the same in every store. Again this point is based on the assumption that people of every area have same likes and dislikes as we discussed above and it will result negatively if they apply the same policy in each store. May be downtown Marston area consist of more number of youngster consumers than old age who like only trending movies not old ones.
In conclusion, author needs to present more evidence to support the assumptions that have been made in the argument to convince us that all stores should adopt the same policies which have already been adopted by the store in downtown Marston and minimise the loss. In its present form, the argument is not very strong.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2104 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.594 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.39 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.171 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.637 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.224 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the memorandum from the owner of movies Galore, he stated that in order t...
^^
Line 3, column 56, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...thor says the profits are declining and their is the dire need to reduce the expenses...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 117, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...d to reduce the expenses of the stores. so, here question arises is decrease in pr...
^^
Line 3, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...use of delapidated condition of stores? or is it because of the poor economy of th...
^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...if these two are the real reason behind the the loss than there will be no need for ext...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...if these two are the real reason behind the the loss than there will be no need for ext...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 561, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...like only trending movies not old ones. In conclusion, author needs to present m...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2148.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71052631579 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42278018075 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453947368421 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 679.5 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.5435759598 57.8364921388 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.25 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.625 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.102346281484 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.038840587524 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0623475954656 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0687624087825 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.073869433679 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.