The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The website of Mozart School of Music claims that it should be the first choice for children who want to study music. The claim is supported by several statements including the school's inclusive admission, the variety of classes available, the distinguished faculties, and alumnus with a successful career. While the argument sounds attractive, the underlying assumption is unsubstantiated and additional information is needed to evaluate the school.
To begin with, the school implies its inclusiveness by describing how it welcomes learners at all capacity and age level and the fact that it does not require an audition. Parents should choose the school because inclusiveness is a favorable quality they all are looking for. However, it may not be the case for every family. For example, for students who want to advance their skills in a more competitive environment where all their peers can demonstrate mastery of an art genre, the school is unlikely to be a good choice given that it does even require an audition to get in. Another related underlying assumption is that since the school matriculates all sorts of learners, it can also cultivate all of them excellently. However, the inclusiveness as manifested by the school's admission choice does not represent the school's capacities in teaching students from various backgrounds and at different skill levels. Therefore, if the above-mentioned assumptions are violated, the school would not be the perfect fit for all prospective students.
Also, the school cites that it offers a wide array of styles and genres to illustrate its competence compared to other schools. Nonetheless, the fact that the schools offer wide-ranging curriculums does not tell us anything about the quality of its curriculum. It is highly likely that, with limited resources available, trying to be as holistic as possible in its curriculum structure may at the same time hinder its instruction quality. Therefore, the assumption that a variety of instructions available increase the competence of the school is questionable. More evidence is needed to clear the concerns mentioned previously.
The website also highlights its faculty resources to prove the prestige of the school. The claim, however, rests on the assumption that incoming students will have the opportunities to benefit from the instructions from these distinguished faculties. It is very likely that some faculties, though listed on the school website, may not open any course. If this conjecture turns out to be true, it will further weaken the argument that the school should be the top candidate for music learners.
The final point to be examined is whether well-know graduates represent the competence of the school itself. The assumption here is that the major reason behind the success of its alumnus is the education provided by the school. It is a highly questionable assumption in that it may be the endeavors of the graduates, instead of school training, that help them thrive in future careers.
In conclusion, the argument that Mozart School of Music is the best choice for prospective music learner is not convincing because it is based on unsubstantiated assumptions, which, if violated, strongly deteriorate the attractiveness of the school.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 517 350
No. of Characters: 2693 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.768 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.209 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.997 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 213 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 160 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.972 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.783 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 775, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
... the inclusiveness as manifested by the schools admission choice does not represent the...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, may, nonetheless, so, therefore, well, while, for example, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2774.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 517.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36557059961 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07574539511 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487427466151 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 844.2 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.8703775269 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.608695652 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4782608696 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.17391304348 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.383279015203 0.218282227539 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111179464319 0.0743258471296 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.095431928432 0.0701772020484 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.205401896485 0.128457276422 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0894898034399 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.