The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The writer of the article alleged that the number of hours that advertising manager sleep are in direct relation witj the success of the organizations they work for. And he concluded that companies should hire managers that need to sleep less than 6 houres. Although the reasoning of the writer looks cogent at first glance, when we delve deeper in the provided reasons, he fails to present adequate evidence for this conclusion. There ares some questions that be answered by the author to make the reasoning more reliable.
The first question is that; is the study conducted according to scientific manners? The author should provide additonal detail about the survey whether how they calculate their sleeping houres and how they find realtion between the sucess of their comanies with their sleeping houres. For instance, if the survey ask manager about sleeping hours, they may asnwer this question dishonsetly to show how they are active. Thus, the survey should approve their honesty. Is the study consider about other possibilities and eliminated them. For example, it is possible that number of workers and economic situation also be involved in the decicions.
Another question that should be answered is that why they just consider about sleeping hours at the night? The author should answer that if managers sleep during the day, their performance would change. For instance, some may prefer take a nap after lunch because they maintiain their performance would be increased. So, just considering about sleeping at night may could not address the issue completely.
Finally, The writer conclude that according to this survey, organizations should recurit manager that sleep less than 6 hours at night. Even if we ignore aforementioned flaws and accept the result of the servey, it would be unreliable to just hire these kind of persons. There are always exceptions in the society. If a company find an appropriate advertising manager and do not hire her or him just for sleeping time would be ridicule. There are lots of possibilities that the person would be effective for the organization. For instance, imagine a gifted person whose efficiancy more than double of other managers. Then sleeping more hours could not affect on the progress of the company.
In conclusion, the author of the article should address all of the aforementioned flaws to make more clearer. Then article could persuade the reader and the reader could act according the proposed study.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 2028 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.045 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.555 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.281 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 248, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...ey, it would be unreliable to just hire these kind of persons. There are always exceptions...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 652, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...ers. Then sleeping more hours could not affect on the progress of the company. In conclu...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 57, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...he author of the article should address all of the aforementioned flaws to make more clear...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 97, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'clearer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: clearer
...all of the aforementioned flaws to make more clearer. Then article could persuade the reader...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, look, may, so, then, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2074.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1592039801 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63075902492 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482587064677 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 630.0 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.9175753863 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1739130435 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4782608696 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.4347826087 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.185873062445 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0559766238797 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0526341831155 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105649388661 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0308701326351 0.0628817314937 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.35 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.