The following appeared as part of a memo from the president of Automate, a company that
manufactures automobiles.
"It has come to my attention that Sparks, Inc., the manufacturing company that just moved into
our state, is advertising job openings at salaries that are twice as high as those paid to our
experienced assembly-line workers. Some of our employees have already left to work for
Sparks. In order to keep our best staff, we must pay them salaries equal to those Sparks pays
its employees. Otherwise we will continue to lose employees in the future, because Sparks
must staff the additional new plants that it plans to build in the state."
In the memo of the president of Automate, an automobile manufacturer, concludes that to keep their employees as it’s original condition must offer their salaries equal to the newly opening Sparks Incl, manufacturing company. He also stated that some of the employees have already left the Automate and joined to the Spark Incl due to twice amount of salary as compared to the experienced assembly-line workers. Unless, automated company can’t provide more salary to their staff, their employee can’t be retained as the president’s claim, which was overlooked by the presidents of automate automobile manufactures for the three mentioned reasons.
First of all, the memo does not indicate what types of job were advertised by the Spark Incl. Whether, the job advertise by the Spark may not suits with the employee of Automate: high position job requiring adroit performance. The president doesn’t seems to be aware about the new job and lacks the substantial evidence on it. If so, this fact would refute the president assumption.
Secondly, the president assumes that Spark Incl would provide twice salary. However, he does not gives detail about the total working hour, pressure in work and other many task to be performed in office for which employees should abandoned their personal time. Perhaps, the total working hour of the Spark Inclusive may twice-thrice as compared to automate automobile. Perhaps, the total leave days provided to the employer by Spark Inc is halves as compares to the automate automobile. There might be the high risk activities in Spark Incl, for which it may also pay high salary to their staff.
Thirdly, president assumes some of the employees of Automate have already left the company and joined to the Spark Incl. Thus he seems to be worry for about the experiences worked. However, he does not provide any detail evidence about the employees who have quit their job. Perhaps, he was not aware about the interest of work of his employees. There might be possible that, the employees who have quit the job may be more satisfied with working in manufacturer company. Perhaps, the employee who have quit their job have home distant nearer from the company, and, might left due to their family problems. The president uncritically assumes about the employee who quit their job, unless, he provides any suitable evidences.
In conclusion, the president recommendation seems ill-conceived. To persuade me, president should able to provide the detailed evidences in regarding the experiences required in manufacturer company, total working hours, working interest of his employees and commute distance of his workers.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 427 350
No. of Characters: 2167 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.546 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.075 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.663 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.114 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 251, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ufacturing company. He also stated that some of the employees have already left the Automat...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 291, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...some of the employees have already left the Automate and joined to the Spark Incl due to twi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 98, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'give'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: give
...vide twice salary. However, he does not gives detail about the total working hour, pr...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 98, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...vide twice salary. However, he does not gives detail about the total working hour, pr...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun task seems to be countable; consider using: 'many tasks'.
Suggestion: many tasks
...orking hour, pressure in work and other many task to be performed in office for which emp...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 463, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...r by Spark Inc is halves as compares to the automate automobile. There might be the high ris...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 28, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...eir staff. Thirdly, president assumes some of the employees of Automate have already left...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 122, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...e company and joined to the Spark Incl. Thus he seems to be worry for about the expe...
^^^^
Line 7, column 142, Rule ID: WORRY_FOR[1]
Message: The verb 'worry' does not normally take the preposition 'for'. Did you mean 'worry about'?
Suggestion: worry about
... to the Spark Incl. Thus he seems to be worry for about the experiences worked. However, ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 210, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ces worked. However, he does not provide any detail evidence about the employees ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2256.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29577464789 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81431512728 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450704225352 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 702.0 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7524086095 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.428571429 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2857142857 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115713801977 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0420533364644 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0334775241389 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0761929569768 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0452388964404 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.5 12.3882235529 165% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.