The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The recommendation by the Calatatrava committee states that since the birthrate of the city is reducing,the funds for the education and recreation activities could be reduced, thereby making sufficient money to fund city facilities for adult.The statement has been supported by two arguments by the author that, one being the number of students enrolling in public schools would be reducing and hence budgeting for education would be less.The other supporting argument is by reducing funding for athletic fields and recreation,money could be saved for city facilities and programs.However,to prove the recommendation to hold good, a series of evidences are required in support to the argument.
It has been clearly stated in the recommendation that they are planning to invest money on city facilities and programs since the adult population is likely to increase. How is it possibble for a city to have high adult population growth in the upcoming years where the birth rate is itself decreasing?Consider that the city has only 50 new borns that year.It is thus true that only new borns tend to become adults and only 50 new adults will be there.
So by what means or source can one assume that the adult population will increase.Thus,proper evidence is not available to prove that the number of adults would increase.
Secondly,it has been stated that since the birthrate is declining,the number of students in public school would be reducing.This could be true provided that there should be no more enrollment of students from other cities.There is a possibility where a couple of families from some other city move to the city of calatrava due to change in work location or some other factors.If they have children,then there is a possibility that they might put their kids in the public school.In such a case,reducing the budget might cause a problem.It is not clearly stated in the prompt about the admittance ratio of students from other cities.
Thirdly,it has been stated that on reducing athletic play fields,the fund could be redirected.What if the athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities are used by the adults as well.There might be some adults who use the play fields on weekends to play soccer and hockey.In that case, reducing funding on recreational facilities would serve no good.
Thus in order to make the prompt valid,proper evidences should be provided for the increase in adult population despite the birth rate control.There should also specifications regarding the intake of students from other cities who come for study and proper instances to prove that the recreational fields are used only by the children and not by the adults.On evaluation of all the above factors,the validity of the recommendation can be examined.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 475 350
No. of Characters: 2275 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.668 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.789 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.596 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 52.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.687 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.445 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.825 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ce the birthrate of the city is reducing,the funds for the education and recreation ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 147, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e funds for the education and recreation activities could be reduced, thereby mak...
^^^
Line 2, column 96, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...money to fund city facilities for adult.The statement has been supported by two arg...
^^^
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e budgeting for education would be less.The other supporting argument is by reducin...
^^^
Line 3, column 128, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e budgeting for education would be less.The other supporting argument is by reducin...
^^^
Line 4, column 43, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , money
...nding for athletic fields and recreation,money could be saved for city facilities and ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 98, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
... saved for city facilities and programs.However,to prove the recommendation to hold goo...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 105, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , to
...for city facilities and programs.However,to prove the recommendation to hold good, ...
^^^
Line 9, column 43, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Consider
...ere the birth rate is itself decreasing?Consider that the city has only 50 new borns tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 98, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...he city has only 50 new borns that year.It is thus true that only new borns tend t...
^^
Line 9, column 171, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ns tend to become adults and only 50 new adults will be there. So by what means ...
^^^
Line 11, column 82, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...that the adult population will increase.Thus,proper evidence is not available to pro...
^^^^
Line 11, column 86, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , proper
... the adult population will increase.Thus,proper evidence is not available to prove that...
^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...r of adults would increase. Secondly,it has been stated that since the birthrat...
^^^
Line 14, column 66, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ed that since the birthrate is declining,the number of students in public school wou...
^^^^
Line 14, column 125, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...ents in public school would be reducing.This could be true provided that there shou...
^^^^
Line 15, column 71, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...nrollment of students from other cities.There is a possibility where a couple of fami...
^^^^^
Line 16, column 105, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... in work location or some other factors.If they have children,then there is a poss...
^^
Line 16, column 126, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
...some other factors.If they have children,then there is a possibility that they might ...
^^^^^
Line 16, column 170, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n there is a possibility that they might put their kids in the public school.In s...
^^^
Line 17, column 37, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...t put their kids in the public school.In such a case,reducing the budget might c...
^^
Line 17, column 51, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , reducing
...kids in the public school.In such a case,reducing the budget might cause a problem.It is ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...ducing the budget might cause a problem.It is not clearly stated in the prompt ab...
^^
Line 20, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...f students from other cities. Thirdly,it has been stated that on reducing athlet...
^^^
Line 20, column 65, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ed that on reducing athletic play fields,the fund could be redirected.What if the a...
^^^^
Line 20, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: What
...lay fields,the fund could be redirected.What if the athletic playing fields and oth...
^^^^
Line 20, column 106, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the fund could be redirected.What if the athletic playing fields and other recrea...
^^
Line 21, column 32, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...ilities are used by the adults as well.There might be some adults who use the play f...
^^^^^
Line 22, column 19, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
... on weekends to play soccer and hockey.In that case, reducing funding on recreati...
^^
Line 24, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...onal facilities would serve no good. Thus in order to make the prompt valid,prope...
^^^^
Line 24, column 39, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , proper
... Thus in order to make the prompt valid,proper evidences should be provided for the in...
^^^^^^^
Line 24, column 144, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...pulation despite the birth rate control.There should also specifications regarding ...
^^^^^
Line 24, column 161, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the birth rate control.There should also specifications regarding the intake of s...
^^^
Line 25, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...instances to prove that the recreational fields are used only by the children and...
^^^
Line 26, column 60, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: On
...y by the children and not by the adults.On evaluation of all the above factors,the...
^^
Line 26, column 98, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...s.On evaluation of all the above factors,the validity of the recommendation can be e...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2364.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 447.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28859060403 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.17746470464 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440715883669 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 726.3 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 19.7664670659 35% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 63.0 22.8473053892 276% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 195.398389482 57.8364921388 338% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 337.714285714 119.503703932 283% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 63.8571428571 23.324526521 274% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 13.0 5.70786347227 228% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 22.0 5.15768463074 427% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 36.0 5.25449101796 685% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194814778927 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0957875364392 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0562420698382 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.059172443787 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0539921908499 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 35.4 14.3799401198 246% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 7.53 48.3550499002 16% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.1628742515 222% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 27.9 12.197005988 229% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.29 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.98 8.32208582834 120% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 62.0 12.3882235529 500% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 27.2 11.1389221557 244% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 28.0 11.9071856287 235% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.