The committee’s recommendation is relatively sound, at first glance. However, in my opinion, the committee failed to recognize all essential elements in order to evaluate his or her own position. We still need more evidence in order to prove the phenomenon mentioned in the argument.
Firstly, the author says that the birthrate is declining in last five years. But we still need more information about this point, for we should make it clear that whether this decrease is severe. If the birthrate is 3% in five years ago, for example, and it is 2.5% now, even though it has declined but that is not a big problem. So, if the birthrate does not decline a lot, that is unreasonable to adduce that the number of students enrolled in schools will decrease dramatically. The number could decrease, but it is not significant enough to make governments take actions to respond it. Only the birthrate has decreased a lot to 1% or even less, the argument could be correct. The author should offer more information about this, or the author can take a survey to clarify this point.
Besides, even if the number of students decrease dramatically, we still need evidence that can help us to conclude that it is safe to reduce educational funds. We should acknowledge that governments should have a rational funds budget for every part like education, residents’ welfare, development and so on. Reallocating the funds from education to other parts may lead to a bad ending. We can never predict the next year’s situation; the governments should reserve some funds in order to prevent emergency events. Although the events could never happen, the governments still could use these funds enhance the quality of the education. Governments could upgrade hardware of schools, buy more books for students, offer a better fellowship, or hire more famous teachers. We cannot just remove these funds because of possible less students. If the committee wants to persuade more to believe in the recommendation, stronger evidence must be presented.
Like we have talked above, the committee says that governments can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities is also problematic. If the funds for these parts are reduced, on the one hand, the children will have less places to relax and have fun with their friends, they may get a bad mood and cannot get a happy childhood, that could be terrible for their whole life. On the other hand, without enough funds to maintain existed fields, children are easier to get hurt. The committee should reconsider this point and provide more evidence to hold on the position.
Last but not the least, why the governments have to save money from education to fund city facilities and programs used by adults. If the city funds more to children, the parents would also be attracted by the city. The committee seems to believe that more adults could reverse the birthrate’s decline, however, does not the city have enough adults now? The committee should think about this question, if there are enough adults then why they do not give birth to children anymore. The author should take more surveys and provide more evidence that could prove that the recommendation is useful and could lead to a higher birthrate.
We must admit that the author tries to solve the problem of birthrate, but the recommendation is tenuous and can be toppled easily. The author should reconsider the recommendation and do some survey, if necessary, in order to collect more data that can determine its end.
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 826, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun students is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... remove these funds because of possible less students. If the committee wants to per...
^^^^
Line 7, column 248, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun places is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...on the one hand, the children will have less places to relax and have fun with their...
^^^^
Line 9, column 483, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... do not give birth to children anymore. The author should take more surveys and pro...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, still, then, for example, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 36.0 12.9520958084 278% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2965.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 592.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00844594595 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93265142912 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73506751248 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461148648649 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 910.8 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.9199526282 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.24137931 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4137931034 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158035361373 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0480124554017 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590261552004 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0791473281974 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0590503819309 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 826, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun students is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... remove these funds because of possible less students. If the committee wants to per...
^^^^
Line 7, column 248, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun places is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...on the one hand, the children will have less places to relax and have fun with their...
^^^^
Line 9, column 483, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... do not give birth to children anymore. The author should take more surveys and pro...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, still, then, for example, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 36.0 12.9520958084 278% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2965.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 592.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00844594595 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93265142912 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73506751248 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461148648649 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 910.8 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.9199526282 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.24137931 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4137931034 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158035361373 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0480124554017 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590261552004 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0791473281974 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0590503819309 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.