The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author suggested allocating the funding for the youth to the adults due to the decreasing birthrate for the past year. However, there are some defects in his/her statements and the advice shall not be taken.
Firstly, the author the birthrate drops in the last year caused by unprecedented incident that public faced which may not last long into the future. if the birthrate has been dropped during the last decades, the author should acknowledge the potential of the decreasing children's population and move on to the following hypothesis.
Secondary, decreasing youth population doesn't necessary cost much less for the community. divide the funds towards other society facilities may lead to unemployment. The youth deserve to have the same quality of education as they do in the past, which may not decrease much in their tuition funding.
Thirdly, author suggested to move funding towards adult population, which he/she expects will increase. Since the author didn't mention the cause, which possibly caused by immigrants if the birthrate in Calatrava is decreasing, the adult's population can only decrease with the birthrate.
consequently, the author hasn't proved his/her statements with sufficient evident and needs to analyse other social factors to come to this conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
No. of Words: 207 350
Minimum 250 words wanted
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 207 350
No. of Characters: 1060 1500
No. of Different Words: 119 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.793 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.121 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.14 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.438 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.797 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.152 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 213, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ents and the advice shall not be taken. Firstly, the author the birthrate drops ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...hich may not last long into the future. if the birthrate has been dropped during t...
^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd move on to the following hypothesis. Secondary, decreasing youth population d...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 40, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... Secondary, decreasing youth population doesnt necessary cost much less for the commun...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 91, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Divide
...ssary cost much less for the community. divide the funds towards other society facilit...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...decrease much in their tuition funding. Thirdly, author suggested to move fundin...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 17, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggested moving'.
Suggestion: suggested moving
...r tuition funding. Thirdly, author suggested to move funding towards adult population, which...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 122, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...expects will increase. Since the author didnt mention the cause, which possibly cause...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 232, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'adults'' or 'adult's'?
Suggestion: adults'; adult's
...rthrate in Calatrava is decreasing, the adults population can only decrease with the b...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
...n only decrease with the birthrate. consequently, the author hasnt proved his/her statem...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 26, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...birthrate. consequently, the author hasnt proved his/her statements with sufficie...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, so, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 19.6327345309 20% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 26.0 55.5748502994 47% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1099.0 2260.96107784 49% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 201.0 441.139720559 46% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.46766169154 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.76529505866 4.56307096286 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7565062623 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 120.0 204.123752495 59% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.597014925373 0.468620217663 127% => OK
syllable_count: 328.5 705.55239521 47% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.5042463283 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.9 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.128291562415 0.218282227539 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0523071305448 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651133351034 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0713703029834 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0635006465544 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 98.500998004 56% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.