The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
In the statement given above, there is a recommendation from the committee about the budget for the next ten year for the Calatrava city. According to their observation, the birthrate of the city Calatrava is getitng decreased. They have mentioned that the last year's birthrate was only one half of the last five years rate of birth by comparing those data. They are also assuming that the students enrolled in the public school will decrease dramatically. And hence, after observing the scenario, they are proposing to reduce the funds budgeted for the education for the next decade. They are also planning to reduce the funds budgeted for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result of these, they are expecting to save sufficient money to fund the city facilities and the programs used more often by adults.
Firstly, it is not a wisely thought over a recommendation given by the committee to reduce the educational funds. What if there were more number of students migrating from another city? In that case, birthrate does not seem to be an important factor to consider the number of students enrolling in the public school. It may also possible that the many of the students are coming to the city because they don't have any good public school in their area or city. The recommedation only favors to reduce the educational funds and not thinking about this perspective about the migrated students.
Secondly, It may be possible that the city Calatrava has a very good facility for the athlets like a large ground for the different games so that there are a lot of athlets who are coming to this city to make their career in the athetic playing. By this way, the decision of reducing the budget for the athletic playing fields can't be equated to the issue. It is not a good solution.
The recommendation of reducing the educational and athletic funds however made in a very narrow perspective. It is also not known if this change has benefited in terms of saving money. Thus, argument loses
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1648 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.736 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.615 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.262 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...ased. They have mentioned that the last years birthrate was only one half of the last...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... programs used more often by adults. Firstly, it is not a wisely thought over...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 410, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nts are coming to the city because they dont have any good public school in their ar...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pective about the migrated students. Secondly, It may be possible that the ci...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 333, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... budget for the athletic playing fields cant be equated to the issue. It is not a go...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he issue. It is not a good solution. The recommendation of reducing the educa...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1684.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 347.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8530259366 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31600926901 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67206811487 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.478386167147 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.5210479682 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5555555556 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2777777778 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.77777777778 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318628786875 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898133931679 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0880764462173 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162285952503 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121555809613 0.0628817314937 193% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.