The author argues that since birthrate is on a steady decrease in the city of Calatrava, budget allocation should be more focussed towards city facilities and programs which are primarily used by adults, rather than educational and recreational facilities since the number of youths is likely to decrease during the next decade. However, in doing so, the author inadvertently makes a few assumptions, which if turns out to be improper, dampens the persuasiveness of the argument.
Firstly, the author presumes that since over the last five years, birthrate has reduced to one-half, it will remain doing so for the next decade. It is possible that the former half of the decade witnessed a steady decline in the birthdate owing to neonatal fatalities or a widespread disease which is more likely to affect children than adults. If a remedy for such a disease or the exact cause of neonatal fatalities is ascertained by this point of time, then the next decade is more likely to witness a steady increase in the birthrate and under such circumstances, the author’s speculation does not hold water.
Secondly, the author makes a direct connection between students enrolled in educational or athletic activities with the birthrate. Even if the birthrate is on a steady decline, such a direct connection might turn out to be overly presumptuous since no evidence on the rate of literacy in the city of Calatrava is put forth. It might be such that even though birthrate is less, the overall statistics involving students enrolled in education remains same or even steadily increases in the next decade. This can result from a larger number of students getting enrolled in educational institutions and taking part in athletic activities than previous years, even though birthrate declines. It is improper to assume that all children taking birth during a period of time will enrol in educational or athletic activities. In such a scenario, the author’s suggestion to reduce budget allocated for infrastructure development of educational institutions and recreational fields will serve to be detrimental.
Furthermore, the author assumes that more budget should be allocated to city facilities and programs that are primarily used by adults since an increase in the adult population is expected in the coming years. However, no evidence supporting this has been put forth. The inclination of adults towards attending such facilities or programs might not be sufficient to warrant such a change in budget allocation. Moreover, if the steady decrease in birthrate is related to migration or movement of people out of the city of Calatrava then the number of adults is likely to decline as well and hence the author’s conclusion that the adult population is likely to increase can be erroneous.
In conclusion, it is possible that the steady decline in birthrate will continue in the upcoming decade and that diverting budget from education and recreational facilities for youths towards city facilities and programs for adults is fruitful. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on few unfounded assumptions made by the author that render it unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. Thus, the author needs to provide additional evidence regarding the cause of decline in birthrate and the likelihood of such a trend in the upcoming years, the correlation between the birthrate and the number of students enrolling for educational and athletic activities, and the potential of funding more city facilities and programs for adults in order to further his argument.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 574 350
No. of Characters: 2944 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.895 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.129 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.888 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 241 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 142 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.644 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.361 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 408, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...ertently makes a few assumptions, which if turns out to be improper, dampens the p...
^^
Line 3, column 753, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...that all children taking birth during a period of time will enrol in educational or athletic a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, moreover, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3003.0 2260.96107784 133% => OK
No of words: 574.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23170731707 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96455332321 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.391986062718 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 965.7 705.55239521 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 76.0089541509 57.8364921388 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 166.833333333 119.503703932 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.8888888889 23.324526521 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.83333333333 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181292763551 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643119561389 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0560770878145 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115529952461 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0314517320623 0.0628817314937 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.1 14.3799401198 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.55 48.3550499002 65% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.65 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.9071856287 168% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.