The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce."Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The president of Amburg’s Chamber of commerce proposes to implement high-intensity lighting as it has been done in a neighboring city of Belleville to reduce crime and to enliven down sloping districts of the city. First, the author of the note supposes that transferring same idea from one city to another would yield an equal result. Second, the president assumes that lighting would be more beneficial then bicycle police patrol. And, third assumption is that lighting might be the only factor to potentially reduce the crime and revitalize the city. The author needs to support those assumptions with new evidences, studies and thorough analysis.

Every city has its own spoken and unspoken rules, law-makers, culture, ambiance and, therefore, transferring law or idea from one city to another needs to be verified against new conditions. Indeed, it could be the case, that city of Belleville comprised mainly from universities and research institutes and has higher cultural level, hence, installment of lights is sufficient to deter any occurrence of crime. And situation might be the opposite in another city, as it could be, for example, an industrial city with very low level of life, degrading education and deprecating cultural life. Thus, mere lights installation would not suffice. Therefore, the author needs in-depth analysis with clear statistical data showing the picture of two cities to evaluate if it’s possible to use the same method.

Lights are immovable objects and can not correct, can not speak, can not fix the situation, can not resolve the conflict, hence, the author’s assumption that lights would work better than police patrols is unwarranted. Most certainly, the combination of two factors would give a better result. Of course, the predators try to find unlit place to steal bag or to rape the victim, however, history knows many crimes that were committed in a perfectly bright place or, even in the middle of the day. Clear statistical data, showing that crime rate has a negative correlation with light installment would certainly bolster the author’s assumption. Also, the evidences of bicycle police absolute ineffectiveness would support president’s idea that high-intensity lights could works better.

There are many factors that determine the upsurge in crime rate, such as lack of facilities, level of pollution, absence of museums, theaters and educational programs, however, the author assumes that bright lights installment is the magical solution to resolve any crime. This assumption is unfounded, at least. More data needs to be collected to determine the nature of crimes and the reasons behind them. Once city authorities analyze and process crime related statistics, they can find a sure reasons of crime's origin and tackle it.

As a result, many evidences need to be collected before the author could dig up the real and supported solution to the problem. The president, at its least, needs to consider point described above and come up with a knowledge- based solution to the issue.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- Better: suppose 'crime rate is reduced by this way', it doesn't mean ' we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city'.

flaws:
No. of Words: 485 350

Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 485 350
No. of Characters: 2485 1500
No. of Different Words: 243 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.124 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.717 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.802 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5