The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce recommended to install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg which helps to reduce vandalism in whole city. In the given recommendation the president compare with Belleville city where the results were positive, and he want to replicate it in his city. According to given recommendation the high-intensity lighting would reduce crime. Another assumption is with such lights the decline in neighborhoods in their city would also combat and Amburg will revitalize. There are following evidences required to strengthen the argument otherwise it is weakened.
Moreover, in Amburg the vandalism will decline with installation of high-intensity lighting because it happened in the city of Belleville. It does not sound convincing because there are so many factors which affect the results such as the area of city, neighbor area and cities, population, employment level and so on. If the vandalism is too high, than it may possible that people will destroy such expensive lights. The police patrols on bicycles in Amburg city which could be a reason for constant high rate of crime because police have limited speed on bicycle, and they need more speed then criminal or theft. The president should work on safety measure than such expensive lighting will definitely reduce the crime rate.
Furthermore, the author said with high-intensity light crime will reduce which is a questionable statement. There are number of cases we read in newspaper the thief stolen gold in day time so, the crime could be done at day time also. To reduce the crimes in a city the authorities should increases the security and maintain strict punishment for crime. In this way the crime rate fall in few months.
Additionally, the criminals are people of Amburg city, or they are from neighbor city it is not clearly mentioned in the argument. The author told in last line that the declining neighborhood will revitalize which is not clearly state that the neighbors are responsible for vandalism in their city. Before taking decision to install such expensive lights the authorities should find strong evidences against criminals, who they are and what they do. If they are powerful, they can uninstall the lights and enjoy their wrongdoings.
Finally, the president should collect evidences against criminals, weakness of police and accomplice in crime then the president conclude weather there is need of high-intensity lightening in Amburg or not.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.185 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.843 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.866 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended installing'.
Suggestion: recommended installing
...resident of Amburgs Chamber of Commerce recommended to install high-intensity lighting throughout Ambu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
...where the results were positive, and he want to replicate it in his city. According ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 350, Rule ID: COMMA_THAN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'then'?
Suggestion: then
...nd so on. If the vandalism is too high, than it may possible that people will destro...
^^^^
Line 3, column 592, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...ed on bicycle, and they need more speed then criminal or theft. The president should...
^^^^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...so, the crime could be done at day time also. To reduce the crimes in a city the aut...
^^^^
Line 5, column 290, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'increase'
Suggestion: increase
...crimes in a city the authorities should increases the security and maintain strict punish...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, then, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2094.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 394.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31472081218 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8929646122 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489847715736 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 650.7 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.249223595 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.210526316 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7368421053 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36842105263 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245556734199 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0868531819694 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080576351141 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14386167684 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0855672526064 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.