The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper."Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This i

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The following is from an editorial in the Midvale Observer, a local newspaper.

"Ever since the 1950's, when television sets began to appear in the average home, the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has steadily increased. This increase in teenage crime parallels the increase in violence shown on television. According to several national studies, even very young children who watch a great number of television shows featuring violent scenes display more violent behavior within their home environment than do children who do not watch violent shows. Furthermore, in a survey conducted by the Observer, over 90 percent of the respondents were parents who indicated that prime-time television--programs that are shown between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.---should show less violence. Therefore, in order to lower the rate of teenage crime in Alta, television viewers should demand that television programmers reduce the amount of violence shown during prime time."

In this editorial, the author concludes that the rate of crimes committed by teenagers in the country of Alta has increased by the introduction of television and its increasingly violent programs. To evaluate this conclusion the author cites several national studies showing that even very young children watching violent shows of television are more vulnerable to violence than the ones who do not watch these shows. He also points out a survey in which 90 percent of the respondents were parents complaining that prime-time television programs should show less violence. I find this conclusion unconvincing as it stands.

First, the author unfairly assumes that the increased rate of crimes committed by teenagers is due to the advent of television and increasingly violent programs. There might be some crucial social issues such as increase of parents’ divorce or depression at an alarming rate which consequently has end up with more juvenile delinquency and violence. And as a reflection of what is happening in the society the television programs incorporate more violence. Without considering and ruling out this and other possible reasons the author cannot reasonably conclude that the televised programs are responsible for increasing violence among teenagers.

Second, the author unsubstantially attributes the results of the surveys about very young children to teenagers. He provides no dear evidence demonstrating that these two different groups of children carry the same characteristic and features that proves they will behave similar while exposed to same violent programs. And actually it seems more sensible that these children at different ages carry distinct traits and vulnerability to such these programs.

Third, the results of a survey in which 90 percent of the respondents were parents unsatisfied with the violent programs cannot be reliable to reason unsatisfactory of the whole parents of teenagers. In other words, this survey might merely cover the complaining parents and does not include a representative sample for the overall population of teenagers’ parents.

In sum, this editorial fails to convince me. To bolster it the author must account for other probable reasons which could have caused the increase in teenagers’ violence. To better assess the argument I need more information about the degree of different features between very young children and teenagers and whether their behavior towards brutal programs will be the same. It will also be helpful to provide dear evidence revealing whether the sample of the survey including 90 percent complaining parents is representative of the whole parents nationwide.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 2218 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.423 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.913 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.878 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5