The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art
students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
In this letter, the author insists that the art department in Linford College should require all students to complete an intership with Skyway Designs company before graduation. To support the argument, the author cites the survey revealing college graduates' think that intership experience increases students' chances of finding a job after graduation and gives three reasons why Skyway Designs company is a good option for the mandatory intership program: interships opportunities in all departments, flexible working hours, and conducting vital role in City besiness. In my perspective, this arguments is flawed and fragile as it stands.
First of all, the author relies on a dubious assumption that the college graduates' opinion is same with the students' opinion. If there is a discrepency between the two, students in art school would disagree with the new policy. Perhaps, the situation has been changed, so intership would no longer helpful when students get a job, as the low rate of attending intership program betrays. Or, in contrast of what graduates' thinking, intership programs does not give any merit after graduate. Without suggesting that to what extent and how the experience help student in the future, we cannot concede with the argument.
Secondly, the author's argument is problematic because suggested three reasons are still questionable whether those factors help to suggest a good working condition for students. To explain, even though all departments in the Company offer intership programs, it is possible that every student want to work in a design department which has limited position, thus some of students would end up getting opportunities in the department that they are not intested in. In addition, due to those company provide important services for over 80 percent of business in the City, the workload that students get might be too huge. It could give them so much burden and stress that a student might no longer want to work as a designer.
Lastly, even conceding that three reasons contribute to create good environment, the author unfairly assumes that suggested three reasons is a sufficient factor of deciding internship company for all students. It is plausible that the more important factors exist for some students. For example, students who want to work in a globally prestigious company in the future might do not want to work in the local company. Similarly, students who
In conclusion, the author should answer the following questions; Does an intership experience really benefit students? Does the suggested three points give sufficient merits to students? Does the given three reasons are enough to decide an intership company? Only by answering all the aforementioned question can one say that the author is right.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2284 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.179 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.692 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.13 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.33 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 590, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...le in City besiness. In my perspective, this arguments is flawed and fragile as it s...
^^^^
Line 5, column 109, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...lege graduates opinion is same with the students opinion. If there is a discrepency betw...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 15, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e with the argument. Secondly, the authors argument is problematic because suggest...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 363, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'some of', you should use 'the' ('some of the students') or simply say ''some students''.
Suggestion: some of the students; some students
...rtment which has limited position, thus some of students would end up getting opportunities in t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 484, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this company' or 'those companies'?
Suggestion: this company; those companies
...re not intested in. In addition, due to those company provide important services for over 80 ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, lastly, really, second, secondly, similarly, so, still, thus, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2352.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33333333333 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77529344225 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526077097506 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.0449572279 57.8364921388 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.789473684 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2105263158 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57894736842 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.063293663734 0.218282227539 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0189754602179 0.0743258471296 26% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0320205083531 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0385762430402 0.128457276422 30% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0452289945525 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.22 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.