The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction
The arguments states that the Keningston Acacdemy , a private school, has transferred the control of their kitchen to a private vendor named Swift nutrition with the aim of proviing healthy food to thier students.But as the author claims it has not been going in the direction of the goal and ha cause the students severly disheartended with the quality of food and bounded them to look for outside food which is apparently harmful.The presentation of the scene as appealing as it might be fails to speak on the grounds of proven facts as nowhere the author hints about the incidents that back his claims
The argument ,to begin , fails to speak about whether or not should the low calorie and low fat food should be grouped as non tasty and if yes , then on what basis.Author cleraly has been hasty in concluding as his conclusions is standing on the pillar of opinions given a few students of same circle.It is widely accepted that the world is leaning towards the healthy lifestyle and thus there are many comapanies that are producing healthy foods without compromising for the taste and its popular across the globe now.
Moreover the argument fails to throw light on the quetion that whether students finding food not tatsy have tried most dishes or not. Being reluctant to try another dish after the first diappointment caused them to be create prejudice about the cafeteria.
To add further teh argumn also fails to inquire about the proportion of student who are enjoying the healthy food and the inspiration they have been to the unhealthy students o adopt the healthy which ultimately is servingthe motives behind the contract with Swift Nutrition.
Though the argument is containing so many misjudgements, it can be corrected in some ways.If the author provide a dataset which states that myriad of people claim the low calorie and low fats food is not enjoyable to strengthen his statement.If the argument is backed by a facts to say that 80% of the students of all categories are not happy with food of the Swifth NItrition then it will make a greater impact of what the authhor is been claiming.Also if the author gives a number for students are actually seen to be adopting the unhealthy lunch it would back the argument greatly.
In cocnlusion the vision of the argument is blur and fails to win the trust of readers as it lacks sufficient evidence or facst which would make it digestable.statistics would have played a greater role in make this claim reasonable as numbers are mostly convincing .Each line in the argument is mere bleak conclusion of the author based on limited knwledge of the scene.This make the argument prone to critics.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2174 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.695 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 46.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 33.248 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.728 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'state'.
Suggestion: state
The arguments states that the Keningston Acacdemy , a priva...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 26, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The arguments states that the Keningston Acacdemy , a private scho...
^^
Line 1, column 51, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nts states that the Keningston Acacdemy , a private school, has transferred the c...
^^
Line 1, column 215, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...proviing healthy food to thier students.But as the author claims it has not been go...
^^^
Line 1, column 434, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...utside food which is apparently harmful.The presentation of the scene as appealing ...
^^^
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ents that back his claims The argument ,to begin , fails to speak about whether ...
^^
Line 3, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...back his claims The argument ,to begin , fails to speak about whether or not sho...
^^
Line 3, column 47, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...gument ,to begin , fails to speak about whether or not should the low calorie and low fat food...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 143, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hould be grouped as non tasty and if yes , then on what basis.Author cleraly has b...
^^
Line 3, column 165, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Author
...n tasty and if yes , then on what basis.Author cleraly has been hasty in concluding as...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...ons given a few students of same circle.It is widely accepted that the world is le...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...and its popular across the globe now. Moreover the argument fails to throw light on th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... throw light on the quetion that whether students finding food not tatsy have tr...
^^
Line 5, column 104, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...whether students finding food not tatsy have tried most dishes or not. Being rel...
^^
Line 9, column 21, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... Swift Nutrition. Though the argument is containing so many misjudgements, it can be correc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 91, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...ments, it can be corrected in some ways.If the author provide a dataset which stat...
^^
Line 9, column 188, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'fats'' or 'fat's'?
Suggestion: fats'; fat's
...of people claim the low calorie and low fats food is not enjoyable to strengthen his...
^^^^
Line 9, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...t enjoyable to strengthen his statement.If the argument is backed by a facts to sa...
^^
Line 9, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t enjoyable to strengthen his statement.If the argument is backed by a facts to sa...
^^
Line 9, column 272, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a fact' or simply 'facts'?
Suggestion: a fact; facts
... statement.If the argument is backed by a facts to say that 80% of the students of all ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 450, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...ct of what the authhor is been claiming.Also if the author gives a number for studen...
^^^^
Line 9, column 450, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ct of what the authhor is been claiming.Also if the author gives a number for studen...
^^^^
Line 11, column 266, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...sonable as numbers are mostly convincing .Each line in the argument is mere bleak ...
^^
Line 11, column 268, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Each
...nable as numbers are mostly convincing .Each line in the argument is mere bleak conc...
^^^^
Line 11, column 372, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... based on limited knwledge of the scene.This make the argument prone to critics. ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, but, first, if, look, moreover, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2214.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 455.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86593406593 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73690108744 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512087912088 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 75.0 22.8473053892 328% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 345.332890926 57.8364921388 597% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 369.0 119.503703932 309% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 75.8333333333 23.324526521 325% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 12.3333333333 5.70786347227 216% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123878181432 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0540100913222 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0421079457054 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0622814909658 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329593530965 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 39.4 14.3799401198 274% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 3.81 48.3550499002 8% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 31.4 12.197005988 257% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.15 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.93 8.32208582834 131% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 55.0 12.3882235529 444% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 32.0 11.1389221557 287% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.