The following memo was published by the Welzaton City Commission A recent nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a safety helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets whe | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following memo was published by the Welzaton City Commission.

"A recent nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a safety helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, cites a 200 percent increase in the number of serious accidents involving bicycles during the same
period. Meanwhile, results of a local survey of frequent bicycle riders indicate that 75 percent
of those riders feel 'much safer' on busy roads when they wear helmets than when they don't. Clearly, the best explanation for the rise in bicycle-related accidents is that bicyclists take more risks now than they did ten years ago because they feel safer when they are wearing helmets."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could
rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

To think that the residents of Welzaton city take more risks because of their increased trust in helmet usage seems plausible based on the series of surveys cited. While one study cited that the number of residents using helment spiked over a period of ten years, another survey cited the increase in accident over this same period. However, the author failed to consider other factors that might have swayed the cited surveys to breed such results.

Firstly, the surveys cited compared the city’s recent status to that of ten years ago. The author failed to put into consideration, the various changes in the society. For example, if the number of cyclist has waned over the years. Or if the number of cylist who use helmets has ebb over the period of ten years. Nothing in claim talks about the changes in the city. Perhaps, the shortcuts that the cyclist could have taken are no longer as safe as they were ten years ago. Or prolly the tiny routes these cyclist might have taken became congested over time. Ergo, for the claim to maintain its validity, the author need to account for different changes in the society that must have spur the cyclist to prefer main road trip to secluded roads.

Secondly, the author failed to consider how the surveys cited were conducted. Two surveys were conducted over a period of ten years. But we do not know the number of people that participated in those surveys. A trend that span through the claim was the use of percentage rather than real values. Ten years ago, 35 percent residents use helmet. What if the population then supercedes the milieu’s present population? What if the previous survey subsumed all corners of the settlements while the present survey only considers an aspect of the city? To enhance the claim made, the author needs to show the number of participant in the survey without omitting the method adopted in conducting the survey.

Lastly, the claim failed to consider other factors that must have led to increase in road accidents over time. There must have been an upsurge in the city’s demography over time. This increment must have led to an increase in the number of road user, hence, the number of feckless drivers. The number of conveyances in the settlement must have rised as well. Thereby increasing the number of casualties faced by cyclist on a circadian basis. Hence, the author needs to account for other causes of the increased accidents before the claim is aserverated.

In conclusion, assuming residents love plying the busy roads because of increased trust in safety headwear is erroneous as other factors that must have stimulated these cyclist were overlooked.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 501, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this cyclist' or 'these cyclists'?
Suggestion: this cyclist; these cyclists
...en years ago. Or prolly the tiny routes these cyclist might have taken became congested over ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 685, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'spurred'.
Suggestion: spurred
...t changes in the society that must have spur the cyclist to prefer main road trip to...
^^^^
Line 9, column 164, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this cyclist' or 'these cyclists'?
Suggestion: this cyclist; these cyclists
...other factors that must have stimulated these cyclist were overlooked.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, look, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, for example, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2215.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91130820399 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38855668189 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476718403548 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6002302731 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.1923076923 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3461538462 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69230769231 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.103947595944 0.218282227539 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0365104592722 0.0743258471296 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0659527547247 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0596619801946 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0387543739532 0.0628817314937 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.9 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, look, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, for example, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments