The following memorandum is from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing, Inc.
"According to a survey last year of parents who purchased the Elkie, our most popular doll, 90 percent reported that although their children were extremely satisfied with the doll's features, the doll quickly wore out with use. In a follow-up survey of the same parents, 80 percent reported that they would recommend a more durable version of the doll to their friends. In response to these surveys, we have created the Elkie-Advanced Doll, which has similar features to the original Elkie Doll but is manufactured using the same higher quality materials used by Optima Doll Manufacturing, our most successful competitor. Because parents can now purchase the beloved Elkie doll and be sure that it won't quickly wear out with use, we predict that our profits will exceed those of Optima Doll Manufacturing this year."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Elkie doll, which was produced last year was reported to have worn out ealier than expected by a quorum of the users’ parents. This complaint led Primo Doll Manufacturing Inc. to concoct a better of the doll: Elkiee-Advanced Doll. With this new doll, the company believes their profit will proliferate. This belief was based on the fact that the production of this new doll was carried out with more advanced material and hence, the firm predicted the new doll will be more durable than the old doll. Albeit, this sound convincing, the president still needs to answer some questions before the claim is totally accepted.
The president assumed that Optima Doll Manufacturing is successful because it uses durable material for the production of its dolls. Nothing in the claim tells us the quality of Optimal Doll’s product. What if the company is successful because of its business strategy? Or because of its market target? What if the company’s material are not as durable as the material Primo Doll firm used in producing the first doll: Elkie Doll? These questions need to be answered before we can assume that Optimal Doll is successful because of the durability of its product.
Moreover, the president stated that the company will make more profit this year than previous year, assuming that parents will show interest in the new doll and the revenue generated will cover the expense used in creating the new Elkie-Advance doll. With the advance material used in creating this new doll, the price will definitely be more than the previous doll. Is there any assurance that parent will pay for this cost? Do parents, after the floundering of the reputation of the former doll, will still prefer to patronize Prima Doll’s product over other products in the market?
Also, the author assumes the survey method adopted was perfect. We need to question how the survey was conducted. When the survey was conducted, was other alternatives offered to the participants of the survey?
In conclusion, while the claim of the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing might sound convincing about the profitability of the new product, the hypothesis also poses some questions that needs to be answered to be fully accepted. The president needs to shows that the quality of Optima Doll’s product is the only secret behind the company’s success. Apart from this, the president also need to show that the new Elkie product will be more durable than the former Elkie product. The president would also need to show that clients are willing to pay for the high cost that comes with production of this advanced doll. More so, the president need to show that survey mentioned was properly conducted. If answers are provided to these questions, there is high chances that the president’s claim of increased profitability is true.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 469 350
No. of Characters: 2295 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.654 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.524 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.542 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.953 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 256, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'show'.
Suggestion: show
... fully accepted. The president needs to shows that the quality of Optima Doll’s produ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, moreover, so, still, while, apart from, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2369.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 469.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05117270789 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62181415546 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428571428571 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.9 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.841094081 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.76 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.76 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.08 5.70786347227 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279171883744 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101917351406 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702502611921 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.169689401871 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0721570101789 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.