The following memorandum is from the president of Primo Doll Manufacturing, Inc.
"According to a survey last year of parents who purchased the Elkie, our most popular doll, 90 percent reported that although their children were extremely satisfied with the doll's features, the doll quickly wore out with use. In a follow-up survey of the same parents, 80 percent reported that they would recommend a more durable version of the doll to their friends. In response to these surveys, we have created the Elkie-Advanced Doll, which has similar features to the original Elkie Doll but is manufactured using the same higher quality materials used by Optima Doll Manufacturing, our most successful competitor. Because parents can now purchase the beloved Elkie doll and be sure that it won't quickly wear out with use, we predict that our profits will exceed those of Optima Doll Manufacturing this year."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Statement is a memorandum of President from Prime Doll Manufacturing Inc where a company has mentioned about the mostly sold product, Elkie Doll. According to a survey, parent has complained that it wore out with use. Therefore, the company increase the durability of the same product and expects to have more profit than their competitors. To strengthen the claim, we need to find evidence to support it.
Firstly, the author has mentioned the company survey among parents for the most popular doll, Elkie. According to the data, 90 per cent has children is satisfied with the doll but complain that it wore out with use. So, Company again conducted a survey, where 80 % recommend more durable dolls to their friends. In both surveys conducted it is implicit about exact data. It is not mentioned among how many parents this evaluation was done. Although, it is mentioned that analysis based on last year purchased product, not mentioned exactly about range (no of costumer, how many had participated and at how many location, if any). Further, it is claimed that the company also conducted one more survey among the same parents to get suggestions for easy wear and tear complaints. It comes to end up with an increase in durability, maybe the doll get worn out with use. But, it did not mention that any other reason could be responsible for damage to the doll. Though, children like the doll so much that they play it with most of time. What were the other factors of drawback in a survey for dolls? Like Survey must be limited between durability and quality. Quality may be good, but it may not be flexible, as doll body structure, it must have been fixed with a joint so it may get worn out while children twist it accidentally or while playing games. The author failed to mention explicitly how durability can be the only reason to improve its product. Thus, such evaluation by the author is not sure state that durability is the only reason for drawback of the product
Secondly, Author stated that the company come up with a solution to increase durability by using the same high-quality material that is used by opponent Optium Doll Manufacturing. Without mentioning any relevant fact about quality of exchanged material author has decided to take a step. May be, the company had done an analysis but nothing is mentioned in passage. Likewise, Auhtor also state that company will also have excess profit than Optium. For competing with any company one must have solid data. What is Optium market status. Like what kind of Doll Optium manufacture. Is it a small or big company. Is Optium doll also liked by many parents? The author claims a fact but nothing is mentioned to support it.
Lastly, It is also evaluate that Elkie Advance Doll will have more profit than Optium. Fact has not been support by any evidence. Although Elkie doll durability has improved, but what if the cost of price increases. Will parents still buy the same product. Most importantly, the demand of products may decrease because children prefer some other toy. Some new toys can come up in market. After so much effort, the sale of Elkie can also reduce. Therefore, It seems to be skeptical that company will have profit.
Hence, to completely support the statement, we need strong evidence that can strength evaluation which is wanting in the passage
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 38 15
No. of Words: 573 350
No. of Characters: 2690 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.893 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.695 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.432 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.079 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.93 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.605 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.253 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.363 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 285, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rease the durability of the same product and expects to have more profit than the...
^^
Line 2, column 553, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...duct, not mentioned exactly about range no of costumer, how many had participated ...
^^
Line 2, column 606, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun location seems to be countable; consider using: 'many locations'.
Suggestion: many locations
...r, how many had participated and at how many location, if any. Further, it is claimed that th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 957, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... be responsible for damage to the doll. Though, children like the doll so much that th...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 20, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'evaluated'.
Suggestion: evaluated
...d to support it. Lastly, It is also evaluate that Elkie Advance Doll will have more ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 165, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ence. Although Elkie doll durability has improved, but what if the cost of price ...
^^
Line 9, column 104, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ence that can strength evaluation which is wanting in the passage
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, likewise, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, thus, while, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2776.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 573.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84467713787 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89258810929 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52518545269 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 204.123752495 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452006980803 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 883.8 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 37.0 19.7664670659 187% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.6494810967 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.027027027 119.503703932 63% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4864864865 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.43243243243 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 8.20758483034 231% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277396973537 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.071760117438 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0813087810141 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147952112016 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102846979207 0.0628817314937 164% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 14.3799401198 63% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.