The following is a part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
“Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems.”
The following memorandum from the president of Humana University contends that Humana should immediately create and actively promote online degree programs like those at the nearby Omni University. To argue for the same, the memo says that Omni University has seen an increase in enrollment by 50 percent in online degree programs which has led to decrease in expenditures for dormitories and classroom spaces. It has also been said that the enrollment has been decreasing constantly for the past three years and the expeditures have increased as has the budget deficit. However, careful consideration of the provided facts lead to unsubstantiated claims and thus do not support the conclusion.
The statement posits that there was a 50 percent increase in the enrollment of online degree programs provided by nearby Omni University. But percentage increase is a relative quantity which cannot be enough to conclude anything. For instance, if the students enrolled in online course for last year at Omni University be 100, so a 50 percent increase in that would mean an enrollment of 150 students for this year. But if the enrollment of Humana Univeristy is 1000,a 10% consistent decrease for three years would mean decrease of enrollment to 729 students which is still a far bigger number than 150. Without providing more details regarding the enrollment statistics, it is difficult to say whether online courses are more successful and popular than classroom teaching.
The author neither provides details regarding the online courses provided by Omni Univeristy, nor does it provide the same for Humana University. It is possible that Omni Univeristy provides online courses in humanities whereas Humana Univeristy is an enginnering university where teaching and learning through online courses can be comparitively more difficult. Thus, in such a case providing online courses like Omni Univeristy is rather a decision made in haste.
The memo also says that there has consistently been a decrease in the enrollment of students at Humana University for three years which could suggest that the teaching quality of Humana is degrading. Students tend to choose another university if the teaching pedagogy and culture of a university is not good. In such a case it would be beneficial if Humana University focuses more on improving its education system rather than blindly following another university's approach.
There has been a significant increase in the expenditure of maintaining buildings at Humana University, as suggested by the memo. This could be due to a larger infrastructure at Humana than at Omni Univeristy. Because Omni provides online courses, it is possible that they have minimal infrastructure as compared to that of Humana Univeristy. And as mentioned, online courses do not require the use of classrooms and dormitories thereby providing online courses will not help in decreasing the cost of maintaining the infrastructure because they will go unused. Thus claiming that budget problems will be solved by providing online courses is not supported by the provided facts.
In conclusion, the memo suggesting the immediate need for creation and advertisment of online courses by Humana University cannot be concluded unless more facts are provided. Without details regarding the enrollment statistics and other budget details, it is diffcult to support the conclusion of the memo.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The statement posits that there was a 50 percent increase in the enrollment of online degree programs provided by nearby Omni University.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Omni and University
Sentence: It has also been said that the enrollment has been decreasing constantly for the past three years and the expeditures have increased as has the budget deficit.
Error: expeditures Suggestion: expenditures
Sentence: It is possible that Omni Univeristy provides online courses in humanities whereas Humana Univeristy is an enginnering university where teaching and learning through online courses can be comparitively more difficult.
Error: enginnering Suggestion: engineering
Error: comparitively Suggestion: comparatively
Sentence: In conclusion, the memo suggesting the immediate need for creation and advertisment of online courses by Humana University cannot be concluded unless more facts are provided.
Error: advertisment Suggestion: advertisement
Sentence: Without details regarding the enrollment statistics and other budget details, it is diffcult to support the conclusion of the memo.
Error: diffcult Suggestion: difficult
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 535 350
No. of Characters: 2829 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.809 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.288 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.939 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 234 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 180 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 137 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 89 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.318 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.602 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, regarding, so, still, thus, whereas, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2884.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 534.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40074906367 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9816921393 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.413857677903 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 929.7 705.55239521 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.8853466446 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.090909091 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2727272727 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343941956787 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115517066345 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0977867577332 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193463278722 0.128457276422 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108675108474 0.0628817314937 173% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 98.500998004 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.