The following is from a recent email by the diord corp. Human resources manager. "TObor technologies found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick as they do for physical illness. In addition the company hired an on-site psychologist and created a system that allows workers to schedule confidential counselling appointments. After one year, the number of sick days used by employees declined by 10 percent. Diord corp has had an increase in employee sick days over the past two years, so we should introduce a similar insurance plan and counselling program. These measures will surely reduce employee absenteeism and cause and increase in productivity.
Mental illness has long been sidelined as compared to physical illness while providing health insurance to employees. It has come to the notice of Tobor Technologies that mental health problems accounted for about 15 percent of employee sick leaves. Hence they hired on-site psychologist to treat mental health issues. After one year they found a decline of sick days by 10 percent.
So, the author intends to apply the same action for Diord Corp. and obtain reduced absenteeism and an increase in productivity.
The author assumes that the increase in employee sick days in Diord Corp. is due to mental health issues primarily. The author gives no evidence of this claim. As such if the increase is due to other reasons, then recruiting an on-site psychologist would be futile.
The author makes no statement w.r.t. the productivity of Diord Corp. If the employee productivity has seen no decline, then there seems to be no cause to worry about the mental health of employees. Such a measure would be an additional step on part of Diord Corp. to improve employee welfare.
Tobor Technologies did not conduct their survey over a period of 2 years to report results. What if after 1 year, employee satisfaction was insufficient to prevent them from taking more sick days. Also no details have been given as to how much increase in employee sick days has Diord Corp. seen and whether it is sufficient to recruit an onsite psychologist.
On the whole, Tobor Technologies needs to provide more details as to how its survey results can be translated into rise in employee productivity in Diord Corp. Diord Corp. on its part, needs to thoroughly examine the pros and cons of Tobor Technologies measure before implementing the same.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1410 1500
No. of Different Words: 151 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.845 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.681 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.094 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.664 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 251, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...out 15 percent of employee sick leaves. Hence they hired on-site psychologist to trea...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 320, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “After” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hologist to treat mental health issues. After one year they found a decline of sick d...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e same action for Diord Corp. and obtain reduced absenteeism and an increase in p...
^^
Line 15, column 198, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...revent them from taking more sick days. Also no details have been given as to how mu...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, so, then, while, as to, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 2.0 13.6137724551 15% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1461.0 2260.96107784 65% => OK
No of words: 290.0 441.139720559 66% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03793103448 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73278635905 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524137931034 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 432.9 705.55239521 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.07135785 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.05 119.503703932 61% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.5 23.324526521 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.65 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338773248646 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0995744931582 0.0743258471296 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0858350513346 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166432287616 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.105511843031 0.0628817314937 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 48.3550499002 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 12.197005988 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.36 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.