The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell Two years ago the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel During the past two years tourism in Ocean View has increased new busines | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
"Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. Therefore, the best way to improve Hopewell's economy — and generate additional tax revenues — is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

The mayor of Hopewell is making a recommendation to his council to build a golf course and resort hotel. The mayor bases his suggestion on the neighbouring town of Ocean View , that town did build a golf course and resort hotel two years ago.He further supports his suggestion by stating that the revenue of Ocean View has increased and new businesses have emerged in the town increasing the taxes to 30 percent.Nevertheless, on closer scrutiny, it is seen that the argument provides scant evidence that can prove the validity of the recommendation made.

Firstly,the mayor takes support of the neighbouring town which had built a new golf course and resort hotel two years ago. This fact does nothing to support the author’s argument as the mayor does not take into account the changing economic conditions for the period of two years.Also the mayor mentions the increase in tourism revenue in the town of Ocean View but this fact does not attribute to the creation of golf course and resort hotel.The author should have provided a statistical evidence stating the correlation of the creation of the golf course and resort hotel with the increase in tourism revenue.The failure of the author to provide us with said evidence weakens his argument.

Secondly,the mayor assumes that new businesses have opened in Ocean View due to creation of the golf course which is specious at best.The emergence of new businesses can be attributed to a myriad of different factors like the growth in economy of the town,it is possible that the merchants moved their business to Ocean View because of some family issues.Also the increase in taxes by 30 percent does not cogently state the increase in revenue for town of Ocean View. As increase in taxes do not correlate to increase in revenue. The author should have provided us with relevant evidence stating the increase in revenue.

Last but not the least,the author hastily assumes that development of Hopewell’s economy will be done by building golf courses and resort hotels.The mayor should have provided us with evidence stating the similarity between two towns.As it is quite likely that Ocean View has a better location in terms of weather and scenic beauty as compared to Hopewell which led to the increase of revenue.The author should look into all the possibilities of increasing their revenue before allocating their funds for the development of a new golf course and resort hotel.

In conclusion, the author's argument is filled with flaws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make the argument more persuasive , the author should have provided us evidence stating the correlation between the creation of golf course and resort hotel to the increase in tourism revenue.Also the author should have provided us with evidence stating the increase in revenue.The mayor should consider all the possibilities for increasing revenue before building a new golf course and resort hotel. Had the author kept the above suggestions and points in mind, his argument would have been bolstered much better with valid facts, evidences or statistics. The argument would also be more convincing and well-reasoned.

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Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 175, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n on the neighbouring town of Ocean View , that town did build a golf course and r...
^^
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...f course and resort hotel two years ago.He further supports his suggestion by stat...
^^
Line 1, column 413, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Nevertheless
...town increasing the taxes to 30 percent.Nevertheless, on closer scrutiny, it is seen that th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...the recommendation made. Firstly,the mayor takes support of the neighbouring...
^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
... conditions for the period of two years.Also the mayor mentions the increase in tour...
^^^^
Line 5, column 281, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... conditions for the period of two years.Also the mayor mentions the increase in tour...
^^^^
Line 5, column 444, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...reation of golf course and resort hotel.The author should have provided a statistic...
^^^
Line 5, column 612, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...el with the increase in tourism revenue.The failure of the author to provide us wit...
^^^
Line 9, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ce weakens his argument. Secondly,the mayor assumes that new businesses have ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 135, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e golf course which is specious at best.The emergence of new businesses can be attr...
^^^
Line 9, column 256, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...s like the growth in economy of the town,it is possible that the merchants moved th...
^^^
Line 9, column 356, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...cean View because of some family issues.Also the increase in taxes by 30 percent doe...
^^^^
Line 9, column 356, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...cean View because of some family issues.Also the increase in taxes by 30 percent doe...
^^^^
Line 9, column 469, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ease in revenue for town of Ocean View. As increase in taxes do not correlate to i...
^^
Line 13, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...n revenue. Last but not the least,the author hastily assumes that development...
^^^^
Line 13, column 146, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...building golf courses and resort hotels.The mayor should have provided us with evid...
^^^
Line 13, column 235, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...tating the similarity between two towns.As it is quite likely that Ocean View has ...
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Line 13, column 394, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ll which led to the increase of revenue.The author should look into all the possibi...
^^^
Line 15, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...and resort hotel. In conclusion, the authors argument is filled with flaws and incom...
^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 94, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...aws and incomplete and incogent reasons.To make the argument more persuasive , the...
^^
Line 15, column 130, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ons.To make the argument more persuasive , the author should have provided us evid...
^^
Line 15, column 289, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...otel to the increase in tourism revenue.Also the author should have provided us with...
^^^^
Line 15, column 289, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...otel to the increase in tourism revenue.Also the author should have provided us with...
^^^^
Line 15, column 375, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...vidence stating the increase in revenue.The mayor should consider all the possibili...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2661.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 514.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17704280156 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81192067326 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.377431906615 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 818.1 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 46.0 22.8473053892 201% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 208.140885218 57.8364921388 360% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 241.909090909 119.503703932 202% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 46.7272727273 23.324526521 200% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 8.81818181818 5.70786347227 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 24.0 5.25449101796 457% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.352017558185 0.218282227539 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1685808376 0.0743258471296 227% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133257235612 0.0701772020484 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.255481830573 0.128457276422 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106700925774 0.0628817314937 170% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 26.3 14.3799401198 183% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 24.79 48.3550499002 51% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 21.2 12.197005988 174% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.65 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 20.4 11.1389221557 183% => OK
text_standard: 21.0 11.9071856287 176% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments