In the article, the author suggests The Monarch Book open a cafe. To support this view, the manager cites the benefit of a cafe to attract more customers as well as the necessary competition against the main rival in the local, the Regal Books. As for the room of the cafe, the manager suggest to cancel the children's book section. However, It might not work well and cause some unexpected results.
First, the manager failed to prove enough evidence to show opening cafe would attract more customers. If the cafe could be the appealing part of the BookStore, then this suggestion could be vaild. However, there is no obvious evidence suggesting the cafe would contribute to attract the customer. The locals might not like coffee, let alone going to the cafe. Additionally, The cost of decoration and payment for the waiters and the cook could be a considerable expense.
Additionally, closing the children's book section might incur the disappointment of children and their parents, leading the drop of the revenue. There could be a considerable number of children favor this book section, along with their parents. If the Monarch Book close the section for the cafe, children and their parents might turn to other book stores and cause the decreasing revenue of the book store.
What's more, the result of national census might not apply to this area. Since the census cover a broad area, including areas where there are of high percent of children under 10 years old in the total population and those areas in which the rate is low. Therefore, the national census cannot reveal the real situation of this area, nor the rate of children in the total number of customer. Additionally, Even if the percentage of the children under ten in surrounding area was dropped, it cannot guarantee the total number of children in this area would drop. Since the total population of children might rise while the rate of children drops.
Finally, the author overlooks other method to compete with the rival such as giving customers some discount in the special day. Those method would also help to gain more customers and save more budget at the same time.
To wrap it up, this suggestion is impractical for the absence of evidence that opening the cafe would attract the customer as well as misinterpretation of the result of national census and possible negative effect brought by cancellation of children's book section. To strength the reliability of this suggestions, detailed data about the possible increased number of customer should be cited as well as more solid evidence for the decrease of future children population to prove the necessary to remove the children's book section.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK, but this is still for argument 2:
Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten.
----------------
flaws:
need one more argument:
Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Characters: 1570 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.876 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.577 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.572 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 287, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggest canceling', 'suggest cancelling'.
Suggestion: suggest canceling; suggest cancelling
...s for the room of the cafe, the manager suggest to cancel the childrens book section. However, It...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ok could be a considerable expense. Additionally, closing the childrens book section mig...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...asing revenue of the book store. Whats more, the result of national census mig...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, look, so, then, well, as for, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.6327345309 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 13.6137724551 15% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1623.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 322.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04037267081 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63442831919 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490683229814 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 491.4 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.981386767 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.4375 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.125 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.1875 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.114296479901 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0447390934303 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0565452921539 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0694386488141 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0414475768842 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.