The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The recommendation mentioned in the prompt from the manager of Monarch Books is to open its own cafe in place of the children's books compartment in his bookstore. The argument provided by the manager is based on some unwarranted assumptions. In order to bolster his opinion manager has to provide the following three evidences.
To start with, the manager of Monarch Books assumed that the new emerging competent in Collegeville with a combination of bookstore and coffee shop would result in a decline in customers of Monarch Books. But, Monarch cafe already has a huge customer base who love to read books in the atmosphere that Monarch provides. So, there is very less chance that people will visit the newly opened bookstore. Till today, people are loving Monarch Books without even complaining about a cup of coffee. So, the author's opinion stands null and void.
Secondly, the author's opinion of replacing children's books relied more on the recent census data. So, the manager of Monarch cafe firstly should validate these census data. As census data is developed at a national level, the manager should find out the exact reduction of the population for a specific area like Collegeville. There should exist consideration of current child customers of the bookstore. There may be a condition that the people might migrate from other states to Collegeville which has a more percentage of children. Hence, the writer's argument does not hold water.
Moreover, the manager assumes that opening of cafe cum bookstore will increase profit and ward off competition from Book and Bean. This might not happen. So, the manager needs to find a new way of attracting new customers and retaining old customers using some offers or creating a digital platform, where people can easily read more books with a delightful atmosphere.
In conclusion, the manager should provide the above three pieces of evidence in order to bolster his recommendation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 318 350
No. of Characters: 1594 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.223 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.013 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.694 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.321 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 420, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ly opened bookstore. Till today, people are loving Monarch Books without even complaining ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 501, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...plaining about a cup of coffee. So, the authors opinion stands null and void. Secondly...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...on stands null and void. Secondly, the authors opinion of replacing childrens books re...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 546, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...more percentage of children. Hence, the writers argument does not hold water. Moreover...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, as to, in conclusion, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.6327345309 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1628.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 318.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11949685535 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7444453973 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540880503145 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 512.1 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.7192709376 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4444444444 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.77777777778 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318676084311 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0897785924705 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0918708682728 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168037041381 0.128457276422 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0992390607119 0.0628817314937 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.