The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author makes an argument in favor of establishing a 'in-door café' in replacing the children section in the Monarch Books. Stated in this way, the argument distorts the view of the situation by manipulating facts and providing weak examples. To bolster their points, the author provides a census that indicates a significance decrease in the population of children in the future. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides minimal credibility towards the author's claims.
First of all, the manager assumes that people come to the store for coffee as well. Just because Book and Bean announced to open a store along with coffee shop does not mean that people's love for books will shift towards coffee. He mentions that they have developed a large customer base and yet he assumes that all those customers will rush to the new store selling coffee along with books. Maybe the customers of their store are not coffee lover and only love to read silently in good environment as mentioned by him earlier. The opening of the coffee shop might attract some not-so-reader peaceful lover people and might start causing chaos. This can result in their customer to stop visiting the store and they could lose their most regular readers as well. If this case is true, then the argument of the manger is seriously weakened.
Secondly, what if the large customer base they had built all those years are mostly children? or Parents of children? What if the statistics saying that children of age 10 are decreasing does not apply to the city or the stats is simply false? Also, when people are fond of books, they tend to collect it even when they grow up. What if the customers loved to read the children's book even when they are adult? The manager does not mention what does the "Children's Book" mean. Harry Potter is a children book and even adults of age more than 60 read those books again and again. Even if the population of children less than age 10 are decreasing, the children's books might be valid to people of age up to 20. What does the store have in their plan for those age category? And if their "so big customer base" are within this age group, then removing the children's category can seriously harm them. Forget Profit, they can even go in loss. If this case becomes true, then the argument does not hold any water.
Finally, the manager assumes that the Book and Bean will definitely open book store in the place. But, he just mentions that they announced their intension to open the store. We human are very volatile in nature. Our thoughts change within seconds. What if the mentioned company withdrew their plan to open the store? The manager mentions he has huge number of customers developed from so many years. The rival store might see that and get threatened thinking the customers are loyal and won't come to them and forfeit the plan. And by just this assumption, if Monarch Books destroyed their children's section in haste and build a coffee shop, that could cause a waste of their resources and all their effort might be in vain. Also, this renovation time might cause them to close the store and the customer might stop coming. If this happens, then the argument will go down the drain.
In conclusion, the author's statements remain unpersuasive as they stand. The author must provide better analysis or detailed data regarding the need for modifications in the Monarch Books. Finally, to make a better assessment of the author's argument, they should provide more information answering the above raised questions or supporting the assumptions their argument is based on.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 55, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...es an argument in favor of establishing a in-door café in replacing the children ...
^
Line 5, column 95, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Or
...lt all those years are mostly children? or Parents of children? What if the statis...
^^
Line 9, column 234, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...lly, to make a better assessment of the authors argument, they should provide more info...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, well, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 28.8173652695 198% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3023.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 623.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85232744783 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99599519102 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42819106738 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 281.0 204.123752495 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451043338684 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 912.6 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 19.7664670659 182% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.2171190747 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.9722222222 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3055555556 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.25 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167539378008 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0437862435236 0.0743258471296 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525991307892 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0883063422814 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0514606187159 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.1 14.3799401198 70% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.