Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.
In past, educational institutions played a vital role in guiding students due to limited careers to choose from. Today, however, that is not the case : there are plethora of career options to choose from which should not be guided like before. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the given prompt which emphasize on encouraging students to choose money making careers.
Firstly, in this constantly changing world, where use of internet is growing profusely, it is not great option to choose among the money making careers. In addition, there are huge mass of people who are running a race to find a secure career which will allow them to afford affluent lifestyle. This makes it difficult for students to accurately predict whether the lucrative career in present will yield the promised amount in future. For instance, during 1990’s when first computer was invented, educational institutions mainly highlighted the hardware portion of computer science causing more people opting for hardware engineering. Later after five to six years, the demand for hardware engineers were minimum with very high competition. Thus, it is essential to focus on the right option to study rather than preparing for lucrative careers.
Further, to achieve success in life person should have passion for what they do in life. Steve Jobs in one of his interview said “ To be best one among huge mass, you have to know your passion. Otherwise, everything you do will be enervating task for you”. As suggested by one of the legends, who followed his passion and become successful in every part of the field he worked on. It is essential to have interest to work relentlessly. Moreover, we can also exemplify boxer Mohamad Ali, who was world champion for many years, loved what he choose to do throughout his life and thus made him successful. There are many other personalities like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates who were drop out but they excelled in whatever they did because they loved what they did. Therefore, it is essential to love the work you do rather than educational institution teaching you which career path to follow.
Majority of people opt for the high salary jobs, ignoring the things they love to do, just because the career path they choose does not pay them highly. They consider the obsolete concept which focused on choosing high salary jobs with educational degrees. The world is changing and even without education people are earning huge chunks of money. Therefore, the prompt given is not valid for the changing generation and era.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'In the past'?
Suggestion: In the past
In past, educational institutions played a vita...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 426, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... present will yield the promised amount in future. For instance, during 1990’s when first...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 451, Rule ID: IN_1990s[2]
Message: The article is probably missing here: 'during the 1990’s'.
Suggestion: during the 1990’s
...romised amount in future. For instance, during 1990’s when first computer was invented, educa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 135, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'be the best'.
Suggestion: be the best
... Jobs in one of his interview said “ To be best one among huge mass, you have to know y...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 541, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
... champion for many years, loved what he choose to do throughout his life and thus made...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 679, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'dropped'.
Suggestion: dropped
...like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates who were drop out but they excelled in whatever they ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2126.0 2235.4752809 95% => OK
No of words: 421.0 442.535393258 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04988123515 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56200921103 2.79657885939 92% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 215.323595506 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.560570071259 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7821858645 60.3974514979 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 101.238095238 118.986275619 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0476190476 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57142857143 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287458962073 0.243740707755 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0829885197668 0.0831039109588 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552327063149 0.0758088955206 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164755521436 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289675680488 0.0667264976115 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 100.480337079 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.