The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid — a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil — as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the report appeared in the newsletter, the author concludes that eating lchthaid will reduced the cause of frequent cold which in directly decreases the reason for people being absent to schools and colleges. However, the author has supported his argument using three assumptions that if not substantiated will dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all the writer claims that a nutritional supplement obtained by the fish oil is the reason to reduce the cause of frequent cold and lower the absenteeism. However, there is no proof that substanciated that lchthaid is the only responsible factor to reduce cause of frequent cold. First, a person is effected from cold due to different reason such as climate change, virus effect, consumption of cold food items etc. There is no such evidence that only consuming fish oil was the reason to treat all different types of cold. Second, people might have also consumed immune boosters like turmeric, pepper, etc. unknowingly which was not recorded at the time of observation. If either of these cases is true, then the author’s claim is not warranted and his conclusion that that fish oil has the nutritional value to fight the cold is not overly persuasive.
Second of all, the writer presumes that people are generally absent because of a cold attack and it is a widely used reason to take leave permission. However, there are many other reasons that are used for taking leaves. Furthermore, many people can use cold as a reason to bunk offices and schools and in such cases, there is no proper evidence saying that only cold will be a major reason for absenteeism. If either of these scenarios holds true, then the author’s contention that most people apply for leaves because cold does not hold water.
Finally, even if it is true that people of West Meria have been reported to get affected by cold, there is no such evidence that shows all the other people who live in different parts of the country are suffering the same. It is likely that the people who participated in the survey are mostly prone to catch a cold. Although the people of West Meria have been treated there it might not be the case with other people from different continents. Perhaps the people of West Maria has severely affected by the cold and other parts of the continent does not have the same reason. If it is true that the people have different immunity levels and the people on whom the survey conducted are comparatively less strong, then the author’s assertions are invalid, and his recommendations will do a little to convince people to consume lchthaid in order to prevent cold and lower the number of application of sick leaves to school and offices.
In conclusion, it is possible that fish oil provides nutritional values that might help to fight cold and strengthen immunity. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unfounded assumptions that render its conclusion unpersuasive at best and species at worst. Thus, the author has to provide additional evidence that can supports the argument that says including fish oil can be helpful for treating and fighting the cold.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 535 350
No. of Characters: 2573 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.809 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.809 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.557 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.767 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.352 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 90, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'reduce'
Suggestion: reduce
...hor concludes that eating lchthaid will reduced the cause of frequent cold which in dir...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 617, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Unknowingly
...ne boosters like turmeric, pepper, etc. unknowingly which was not recorded at the time of o...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 317, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...urvey are mostly prone to catch a cold. Although the people of West Meria have been tre...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 339, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to catch a cold. Although the people of West Meria have been treated there it mi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, then, thus, as to, in conclusion, such as, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2631.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 535.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91775700935 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64417877035 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43738317757 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 805.5 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.181250683 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.285714286 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4761904762 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.04761904762 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.044451824909 0.218282227539 20% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0161773905753 0.0743258471296 22% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0283154821985 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0305990943666 0.128457276422 24% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296226396954 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.