The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
“According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public’s lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.”
In this memo, the director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company argues that they should allocate a greater share of its budget next year to improve their prospected viewers of their movie. Although it may seem convincing at first glance, but the lack of answers to some questions lead me to question about the soundness of this argument.
First, the director should answer the question whether the condition of last year is only aberrant or not. Since fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies are the condition for last year only, it may be aberrant due to the temporary bad economy, and following lower money spent for movie. Furthermore, positive reviews by movie reviewers for last year only can be treated identically. It can be the temporary strategy of the movie reviewers to rekindle the movie market, for example. Therefore, the director should give answer to the question about the aberrancy of the company's condition for last year through monitoring more than one year.
Moreover, more concrete answer about the question about reason why the viewer is decrease. Since positive review from movie reviewer did not directly denote the favorable public movie, it cannot guarantee the good quality of movie for the public. Even if the positive reviews are trustworthy, the public may not want the qualified movie, but the commercial movies. Thus, the director should answer about the question about the exact reason of the decrease in the viewer.
Lastly, the director had better provide the answer to the question whether the increase of the budget can induce the better performance of the company. It may possibly not the problem of insufficient advertisement, but the problem of maniac or old genre that induce the decrease of the viewer. In addition, advertisement is not gratuitous. Because the budget should entail for more advertisement, the increased budget in advertisement may override the increment in profit. In this case, the total profit of the company may decrease, even they make their movie more popular. Thus, the direction should provide the answer whether the strategy about advertisement will effective or not.
In summary, the suggested argument by advertising director is not sound in various aspects. To bolster the argument, the director had better to provide the answer about the aforementioned questions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1933 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.114 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.642 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.39 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.353 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 35, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...ent. First, the director should answer the question whether the condition of last year is only aber...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 55, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...rector had better provide the answer to the question whether the increase of the budget can induce t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: MIGHT_PERHAPS[1]
Message: Use simply 'may', 'possibly'.
Suggestion: may; possibly
...e better performance of the company. It may possibly not the problem of insufficient adverti...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'may'.
Suggestion: may
...e better performance of the company. It may possibly not the problem of insufficient adverti...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, lastly, may, moreover, so, therefore, thus, for example, in addition, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 13.6137724551 15% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1983.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24603174603 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72591673443 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.462962962963 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.3315755164 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.368421053 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8947368421 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73684210526 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.195064756516 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0597472890784 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0619615568627 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10180987548 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546362739437 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.