The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
“According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.”
The advertising director at Super Screen Movie is concerned with the attendance and suggests that to attract more people to come to their movies would be to increase the budget for advertising. While this makes sense that a person in this position would suggest this type of solution to increase attendance, there are a plethora of fallacies that need to be addressed before the recommendation can be executed.
The first issue is attendance and whether or not it has decreased due to some external power such as instability of the economy? If there is an economic recession looming or is currently affecting people, this could lead to a decrease in attendance due to the fact that people do not have the money to shell out. People will sacrifice external pleasures such as movies, vacations and or trips if they are unsure of their current and or future economic stability. Not considering that there may be other problems that may have an influence on attendance to Super Screen Movie is a mistake and should be examined by the company.
The next concern is how much did the attendance decrease when compared to the year before. The prompt explains, “According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year" but does not give any percentage or statistics to examine and compare too. Was attendance decreasing the last few years? Was it increasing before? We have nothing to go off of other than the so-called "recent report" and can not make any fair judgment or decisions off this ambiguous statement.
Finally, the director assumes that increasing the budget for advertising will correlate to an increase in attendance. The company does not offer any information on whether they increased the budget in prior years and whether or not advertising had any success. If the company would have added a survey asking how their audience heard about the movie or the company with the option of "advertisement", then they could possibly correlate attendance to advertising and thus increase the budget. But of course, they did not do this and thus can does not lead to the solution the director suggests.
In conclusion, while the director suggests that to fix the issue of attendance to the Super Screen Movie, they must increase the budget for advertising, there is no evidence that this argument offers that would support this suggestion while also answering many more questions before going ahead.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.665 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.308 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 35, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
.... The first issue is attendance and whether or not it has decreased due to some external p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 113, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '”' seems to be missing
...o the year before. The prompt explains, “According to a recent report from our ma...
^
Line 7, column 218, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...increased the budget in prior years and whether or not advertising had any success. If the com...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 277, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had added'?
Suggestion: had added
...rtising had any success. If the company would have added a survey asking how their audience hear...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 422, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...of 'advertisement', then they could possibly correlate attendance to advertising and...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 552, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
...urse, they did not do this and thus can does not lead to the solution the director s...
^^^^
Line 9, column 297, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...many more questions before going ahead.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion, of course, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2122.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 416.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10096153846 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95341042459 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487980769231 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 669.6 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.7417242614 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.625 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286378824459 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0902397809517 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.119399279719 0.0701772020484 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150331511049 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0900091092081 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.