The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise Currently the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away thus

Essay topics:

The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Submitted by prabh450 on Wed, 02/22/2023 - 04:29

The argument that is proposed in this prompt is that a Jazz music club in the city of Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprises. This conclusion is based on the premises that there are many listeners to Jazz and it will have a great local market, it got further reinforced by the argument that last year over 100,000 people attended annual Jazz festival and a radio program that is aired with the name 'Jazz Nightly' is highest rated program in Monroe. Furthermore the conclusion is then reinforced by indicating a nationwide study that jazz fans spends close to $1000 per year on Jazz entertainment. I would cast my doubt on the premises and i opined that these premises should be further evaluated in detail. How would a nation wide study indicates a more profitibility in just a city? How may subjects were analyzed in that study? Among how many shows was Jazz Nightly was the highest? Let us discuss the flaws in the argumnts presented.

It is said that last year over 100,000 people attended his annual Jazz festival last summer. It is not specifically mentioned about the day on which such festival happened. It might be weekend and that is why many people attended the festival.There might be many persons who are not fans of Jazz music but they attended it just as an outing or some people might have attended it just out of curiosity. Saying merely that 100,000 people attended the show is not a conclusive evidence of Jazz music popularity in that specific area. This argument has to be evaluated further.

The second argument that has to be evaluated is that 'Jazz Nightly' the radio program that is air every week night at 7 P.M. is highest rated. The suspicion that arouses is that, among how many shows is 'Jazz Nightly' rated highest? Was it rated highest among all boring shows and radio listeners don't have any other choice than listening 'Jazz Nightly'?Furthermore, Is 7 P.M. the prime time on radio? Because shows aired on prime time are the ones rated highest.Therefore i believe that this argument need more germane data to be analyzed well.

The conclusion was then bolstered by the argument that a nation wide study was conducted and it was found that Jazz fans spends close to $1000 on Jazz entertainment. It seems that the argument is not complete in itself. The number of subjects that were analyzed during this study are not mentioned and moreover, were those subjects were sufficient to represent the nation wide population correctly? And how could a nation wide survey irrefutbly indicates that the Jazz music club in Monroe will be successful as it may not even include any subject from the city of Monroe. A city wide survey would be more appropriate to reach any conclusion and this argument has to evaluated well with in-depth data.

Therefore i am of the opinion that the arguments presented to reinforce the conclusions are not complete and thus requires further in-depth evaluation and any conclusion that is based on the arguments presented above may lead to opposite repercussions .

Votes
Average: 5.5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 464, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...tly is highest rated program in Monroe. Furthermore the conclusion is then reinforced by in...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 652, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...would cast my doubt on the premises and i opined that these premises should be fu...
^
Line 1, column 732, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...urther evaluated in detail. How would a nation wide study indicates a more profitibility in...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he day on which such festival happened. It might be weekend and that is why many p...
^^
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...s why many people attended the festival.There might be many persons who are not fans ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of Jazz music but they attended it just as an outing or some people might have a...
^^
Line 5, column 234, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hows is Jazz Nightly rated highest? Was it rated highest among all boring shows ...
^^
Line 5, column 296, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ng all boring shows and radio listeners dont have any other choice than listening Ja...
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Line 5, column 351, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Furthermore
...ther choice than listening Jazz Nightly?Furthermore, Is 7 P.M. the prime time on radio? Bec...
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Line 5, column 399, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ore, Is 7 P.M. the prime time on radio? Because shows aired on prime time are the ones ...
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Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...n prime time are the ones rated highest.Therefore i believe that this argument need more ...
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Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...n prime time are the ones rated highest.Therefore i believe that this argument need more ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 470, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...me are the ones rated highest.Therefore i believe that this argument need more ge...
^
Line 7, column 58, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...s then bolstered by the argument that a nation wide study was conducted and it was found th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 364, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...bjects were sufficient to represent the nation wide population correctly? And how could a n...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 414, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...e population correctly? And how could a nation wide survey irrefutbly indicates that the Ja...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...o evaluated well with in-depth data. Therefore i am of the opinion that the arguments ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 11, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...d well with in-depth data. Therefore i am of the opinion that the arguments pr...
^
Line 9, column 252, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...above may lead to opposite repercussions .
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 42.0 19.6327345309 214% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 27.0 13.6137724551 198% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 28.8173652695 184% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2515.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 519.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84585741811 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7730044521 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73108814497 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404624277457 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 788.4 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.4038073077 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.347826087 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5652173913 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.60869565217 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.206693974473 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0700994359645 0.0743258471296 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0794462428853 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113498580391 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0736541618993 0.0628817314937 117% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.