The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Here author argues on developing jazz music club in monroe would be tremendously profitable enterprise. which seems to be correct at first instance but we don't have any evdiences to prove the result.
first, as per authors view people feel it difficult to travel so far which is around 65 miles away. but we don't have any such statement to prove people's mentality or preference in above argument. Unlikely, they might prefer to tarvel a long way and enjoy the music away from the city and local market noise. this would probably weakens the assumption of author that people would prefer the jazz club in city.
Second, author mentioned jazz is popular in monroe based on some numeric value. but there is a chance the numeric value is insignificant when compared to overall population in monroe. Also last years attendence of people can be considered for predictions but not for conclusions. Futher years population of people attending jazz music can decline as prefernce of individual can vary on time. which contridicts the statement that jazz is popular in monroe
Third, authors tends to consider nationalwide study on jazz entertaiment is equal to locality based study. we have a probability where the number of people who spend some numeric value on jazz entertainment is high in other areas when compared to Monreo. if this statement is proved to be correct will eventually weakens the authors perspective.
Finally, authors argument of a jazz music club in monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise will undermine if above mentioned points are not supported with lucid evidences.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1313 1500
No. of Different Words: 140 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.955 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.879 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.463 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.8 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 105, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Which
... be tremendously profitable enterprise. which seems to be correct at first instance b...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... to be correct at first instance but we dont have any evdiences to prove the result....
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...e any evdiences to prove the result. first, as per authors view people feel it dif...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 101, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...l so far which is around 65 miles away. but we dont have any such statement to prov...
^^^
Line 3, column 108, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...r which is around 65 miles away. but we dont have any such statement to prove people...
^^^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...y from the city and local market noise. this would probably weakens the assumption o...
^^^^
Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'weaken'
Suggestion: weaken
...local market noise. this would probably weakens the assumption of author that people wo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 81, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... in monroe based on some numeric value. but there is a chance the numeric value is ...
^^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...mpared to overall population in monroe. Also last years attendence of people can be ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Which
...efernce of individual can vary on time. which contridicts the statement that jazz is ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...efernce of individual can vary on time. which contridicts the statement that jazz is ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 108, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...iment is equal to locality based study. we have a probability where the number of ...
^^
Line 7, column 256, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...in other areas when compared to Monreo. if this statement is proved to be correct ...
^^
Line 7, column 256, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...in other areas when compared to Monreo. if this statement is proved to be correct ...
^^
Line 7, column 314, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'weaken'
Suggestion: weaken
...is proved to be correct will eventually weakens the authors perspective. Finally, au...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 326, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... be correct will eventually weakens the authors perspective. Finally, authors argume...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, second, so, third
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1349.0 2260.96107784 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 263.0 441.139720559 60% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12927756654 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02706775958 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76935059577 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.558935361217 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 429.3 705.55239521 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.1980706236 57.8364921388 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 96.3571428571 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7857142857 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.42857142857 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.25449101796 305% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259132848583 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0973198101036 0.0743258471296 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105245352828 0.0701772020484 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164851012436 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0733772811161 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.