Fossil evidence indicates that the blompus—an extremely large, carnivorous land mammal—
inhabited the continent of Pentagoria for tens of thousands of years until its sudden decline and
ultimate extinction about twelve thousand years ago. Scientists have determined that the
extinction coincided with a period of significant climate change and with the arrival of the first
humans. Some scholars theorize that the climate change so altered the distribution of plants and
animals in the environment that the food chain upon which the blompus depended was
irretrievably disrupted. Others contend that predation by humans is the more plausible
explanation for the rapid population decline.
Write a response in which you discuss specific evidence that could be used to decide
between the proposed explanations above.
The given argument discuss about the contradiction between some scholars on the extinction of the blompus-carnivorous large land mammal. Some scholars theorize that the climate change altered the distribution of plants and animals in the environment and due to disruption of the food chain on which the blompus was depended is the main reason behind their extinction, however, some content that predation by humans explains this decline. However, both arguments from scholars contains unwarranted assumptions which needs to be justified to decide to reach at any conclusion.
First assumption have been made by some scholars is that the change in the climate altered the distribution of plants and animals affected the blompus. However, to make this statement more convincing they must provide some evidence like how much plants and which kind of animals have been affected by the climate change. The argument states that the food chain has been disrupted but as the argument mentioned that the blompus were carnivorous, distribution of plants may have not effected them as much as any other animals on which they were depended. Therefore, scholars must provide details on which animals the blompus were depended and provide further confimation on that the blompus were highly affected by this disruption.
Another assumption is that the change in the climate disturbed the distribution of plants and other animals' but not the blompus itselves. There is a possibility that the blompus-itselves altered the distribution and end up leaving Pentagoria and settled far away from it and the factor affected to their extinction like-being a prey by other carnivorous animals. If it could be the reason then the assumption of these scholars failed immediatly. Therefore, further investigation requires to know how climate change actually affceted the blompus.
Some scholars made a conjecture that predation by humans is the reason behind the extinction of the blompus. However, there are no probes provide that suggestion or prove that the humans have been preying the blompus which resulted in the rapid population decline. Even if the humans could be the reason, then still the argument doesn't provide any concrete evidence to point out that the predation by humans is the reason. Indeed, it is possible that, the human used to hunt these blompus for their own safty or other uses, for example, use the blompus' skin to make their clothes.
All in all, with no solid evidence one cannot come up with any decision that what was the reason behind the extinction of the blompus. Either of two could be wrong or even both if the assumptions would be proved not true. However, as both explanations by scholars could be improvised by providing further proofs.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2268 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.097 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.747 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.999 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 242, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...hey must provide some evidence like how much plants and which kind of animals have b...
^^^^
Line 5, column 364, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng a prey by other carnivorous animals. If it could be the reason then the assumpt...
^^
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'knowing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: knowing
...erefore, further investigation requires to know how climate change actually affceted th...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 330, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... be the reason, then still the argument doesnt provide any concrete evidence to point ...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed by providing further proofs.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, for example, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2329.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2454954955 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80853869099 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421171171171 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.9 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.32540842 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.388888889 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6666666667 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.101136295867 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0409642061338 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437862478336 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0634640051508 0.128457276422 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0168187164022 0.0628817314937 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.