Hospital statistics regarding people who go to
the emergency room after roller-skating accidents
indicate the need for more protective equipment.
Within that group of people, 75 percent of those
who had accidents in streets or parking lots had
not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets,
knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material
(clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.).
Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing
in high-quality protective gear and reflective
equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their
risk of being severely injured in an accident.
This argument is based on the claim that
investing in high-quality protective gear and
reflective equipment, roller skaters will reduce the
risk of being severly injured in an accident. This is
based on a stastic that states that 75 percent of
the people who go to the emergency room after a
roller-skating accident had not been wearing any
protective clothing or light-reflecting material.
However, this argument makes many assumptions
which weaken the argument as a whole.
First, the argument assumes that the people
who went to the emergency room after rollerskating injuries were skating properly. The
accidents could have been avoided if the skaters
were following skating rules, such as where to
skate and obeying laws of traffic. Any violations
to these skating rules could have been the reason
the skaters were injured. However, the argument
fails to address this issue, which makes it unsound.
Second, the argument assumes that the
skaters who were injured did not take any
abnormal risks. The accidents could have occured
because of the risks taken by the skaters. Readers
do not know if the statistics were collected from a
representative sample. The data could have been
collected from a group of young males who tend
to take risks greater than those of older women,
but the argument does not address this issue.
The argument assumes that the statistics sample
the population accurately, which provides
weakness to this argument.
Last, the argument assumes that protective
equipment will solve the problem of sever rollerskating injuries. In actuality, the assumptions that
the argument makes prior to this assumption
creates a great deal of skepticism for readers.
There are many external factors that were not
addressed in this argument and that would alter
the conclusion if they were considered. It weakens
the argument to assume that the addition of
protective gear would directly reduce the risk
of being severely injured in an accident.
For all these reasons, the argument can be
viewed as fundamentally unsound. The argument
could be strengthened by addressing whether or
not the skaters followed rules and laws effecting
skating. It could be strengthened by identifying
the risks taken by the skaters from which the data
was collected. And the argument could be greatly
stengthened by eliminating any external forces
or addressing them in the argument. All of these
adjustments would provide the agrument with
a solid foundation.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 45, column 37, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...nt could be strengthened by addressing whether or not the skaters followed rules and laws eff...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, then, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2162.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.50127226463 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81082620147 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.465648854962 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 635.4 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 19.0 8.76447105788 217% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.4050032693 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.952380952 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7142857143 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.38095238095 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 50.0 5.15768463074 969% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169804944344 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0575967727761 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0995865048259 0.0701772020484 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0394955192301 0.128457276422 31% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0762681834052 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.62 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 45, column 37, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...nt could be strengthened by addressing whether or not the skaters followed rules and laws eff...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, then, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2162.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.50127226463 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81082620147 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.465648854962 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 635.4 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 19.0 8.76447105788 217% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.4050032693 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.952380952 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7142857143 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.38095238095 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 50.0 5.15768463074 969% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169804944344 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0575967727761 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0995865048259 0.0701772020484 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0394955192301 0.128457276422 31% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0762681834052 0.0628817314937 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.62 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.